“I’m aware of that. Honestly, how did you see this playing out? You’d tell me the news then only see one another at appointments?” I’m doing my best to speak softly to her, not wanting to have an argument. “That’s not how it’s going to go,” I add.
The sound of a grumble causes the corner of my mouth to curve up. It’s the tell-tale sign that’s she’s growing frustrated with me, and we’ve only just begun our conversation. I used to love the way she stomped and made noises of disapproval. She never could hold up the mood for long, and she would break out into a smile after a minute, only to express her thoughts.
I didn’t realize I missed that, but my mind just reminded me that I do.
She nibbles on the cracker. “Carter, we’re not going to throw ourselves together because of a baby. This is an unusual situation, and we have to tread carefully. We need to figure out co-parenting, and I don’t think packing my car and arriving at your front door is the way to do that.”
Now she just lit the sparks inside of me. “Fuck that. I don’t deserve to miss all of this. When the baby kicks, or making the crib, or trying to help every time you have to throw up to avoid getting arrested.”
She gasps and smiles at the same time. “You weren’t going to arrest me.”
“No,” I agree, but I’m still incredibly frustrated. “We’re having a baby. Rosie, think about it. How the fuck are we going to figure this out if you just want to text and see one another at random times. You got your way once, but not this time.” My tone could slice through anyone, and shit, I just said what I probably shouldn’t have.
Rosie steps away from the car, and I can see the hurt in her eyes. “Is that what you think? I got my way when we got divorced?”
I pinch the bridge of my nose and close my eyes taking a deep breath, well aware that this isn’t the time or place for this conversation. Because I could make a long list of why it was the right thing to do. She was young and still had things to discover. I let her go free because that’s what you do, right? Sometimes they return.
“You signed the damn papers without much discussion. It was your idea,” she snipes.
I’m going to get a headache from this conversation that is heading off course. “Now isn’t the time to hash out those details. Not in your condition.”
She throws a cracker at me, and I attempt to dodge it. Doesn’t matter, my body is hard from muscle, and the cracker just bounces off my stomach, leaving a few crumbs on my shirt.
“Condition? Seriously? I’m not some delicate flower. Next thing I know you’re going to tell me that I can’t teach yoga or do other stuff.” I grow quiet as she plants her hands on her hips. She notices my silence and grumbles again. “You were about to say it, weren’t you?”
I shrug my shoulders. “It’s not crazy. You need to take it easy, and money isn’t an issue.”
“Carter, this conversation right now is why I won’t be moving in with you.” Right, because she hates the thought that I could take care of her ten times over.
Stepping forward, my hand darts out to grab her arm and keep her from creating distance between us, and I’d be lying if it isn’t also the need to make it clear who is going to lead our journey forward.
The last few minutes might be a haze on my feelings, separate from the baby. The pain and anger of how we ended and the sudden spark that there is a new chance. I’ve lost all defenses when it comes to her, and I’m now determined for this baby and what I truly want with this woman, to end the misery that I’ve been in since we signed those papers.
“Rosie, think of the baby. We have to get it together to ensure we have a united front when this child arrives.”
Her eyes drift to my hand on her then back to my face. I notice the way her chest moves up and down. She must feel the current between us, too.
“Right, you have your image to worry about if you’re running for mayor,” she whispers to herself, but I hear enough.
“Damn it, woman. It didn’t even cross my damn mind. Move in. It’s the right thing forusto do.”
“If you are implying what I think you are then you must be well aware that being together purely because there is a baby doesn’t mean it’s what we should do.”
Letting her arm go, I walk back and groan up to the sky and ball my hanging hands into fists purely to tamper my irritation as she watches. “This shouldn’t be a negotiation. You came to Everhope to share the news, and it must have crossed your mind how I would respond. It hasn’t been that long, you haven’t forgotten the way I am.”
A few years doesn’t erase our memory of someone, especially not the one you would stop the world for.
“We have a lot to unpack, and I don’t mean my suitcases,” she reminds us both.
“All the more reason for you to move in. We need to figure this out, and it’s better that we spend more time together.”
Her mouth opens but no words come out because I’m making a solid point. In a few seconds, the bubble of an argument pops, and her shoulders sag while she stares at the ground.
“Carter, I… I don’t know how to be around you,” she admits in a low voice laced with sorrow.
My own body eases into a moment of truth. “The feeling is mutual, but I’m not backing down on this.”
Her lip begins to tremble and her cheeks wrinkle right before a tear pools at the bottom of her eye. “This is a little fucked up.”
