Important to one another. Caring. Exhilarating each other.
“Neighbors.” His jaw ticks. “I guess that’s the case,” hereplies, his tone neutral. It doesn’t help me in my attempt to assess where his mind is at.
Swallowing, I feel as though I put a damper on the mood. Keats arrived home early which means we can have dinner and open a bottle of wine. He will soon be away on a business trip for almost a week. But right now, neither one of us seem to be hungry.
“I have a house, after all,” I’m nearly mute when I remind us both.
I’m beginning to want to scream desperately that I always want to stay here, house be damned.
But I’m afraid to say it.
Being hurt by someone who you lo— is new to me.
Keats gives me a tender kiss on my forehead before firmly setting his fingers on my shoulders. “Of course… I’m going to check up on some emails then pack.”
He’s avoiding me. He never packs so far in advance. He isn’t leaving for a few days.
“Sure,” I reply simply, but I’m disappointed inside.
I forgot to calculate another aspect of our dynamic.
Before we used to go in circles through sniping and glares at each other. Now we’re in uncharted territory of communicating without a fight.
Our game was always who could bark the loudest. Now it’s who dares to speak the truth first.
And I’m not sure it’s me.
Hailey pointsto another tile on the wall as we peruse the store.
“Nah, I’m not a fan of the navy blue. The backsplash should be sleek and glossy white,” I say.
It feels like hours as we explore the possibilities for my new home.
A home that is fading away to being simply called a house.
Her finger falls, and she quickly coughs into her arm. “Esme, six months ago you would have shown up here with a mood board. Today you look like a freaking ghost.”
We continue to tread along the aisle. “I’m just tired. Keats is about to go away for work, and I think I’ve made it so everything feels kind of off. I’m positive it’s because of the living situation.”
“You’re not being the ideal living partner? Getting annoyed with one another already?”
I shrug. “It’s not that. It’s more the murky waters we’ve found ourselves in, and I really need to clearly state what I want.” Hailey sneezes again. “Geez, did you have to tag along with your disease?”
“Sorry,” her response is nasally. “The worst is over. I was in bed with a temperature and stomach flu, then it stopped, but it’s been replaced with this.”
I throw her an unimpressed glare. “Thanks. Now you’re spreading your germs to me.”
“You’ll be fine. You have the immune system of champions since you see clients all the time.”
“I’m not on board with that logic, and I have a shoot to get through, so don’t curse me.” She chuckles at me since I’m being a little grouchy. “Anyhow, perhaps Keats going away for a few days is a good thing. A bit of breathing room. We’ve kind of been pedal to the metal and maybe haven’t stopped to assess. We can’t seem to slow down. And I need to prepare myself to be open with him.”
I shake my head again when she points to another tile that is missing the glossy finish I want.
“I think you probably already know what it is you want long-term. It’s just you literally have a house between you two. Empty houses can be confronting since it either needs to be sold or have someone living there. You two just decided to add a layer of complication, being in a relationship and neighbors. Surely, you can’t be the first people to find themselves in this situation. Did you internet search this or something?” Her truth mixed with humor will keep me going this afternoon.
“Sure. I’m totally going to take advice from Jennifer in Ohio from my search results, who posted a message on some random message board,” I answer.
Hailey grabs my arm to stop me. “Hot customer at twelve o’clock,” she speaks in a hushed tone.
