My sister arrives to our circle with a grin, and she crosses her arms. “I’m liking what I see, big brother.” She looks around the guys, and they are all teaming up on me.
“Let’s just hope he doesn’t screw it up,” Liam mentions.
“Geez, you are all ferocious tonight.” Perhaps a little too honest for us all. I’m not entirely sure what it is that I could do right now to turn my current life into a disaster, but I’m not immune to the fact that I’m not perfect. Maybe lately has been too good to be true. Fear isn’t something that I experience often, but why is it dripping somewhere inside of me?
Liam closes the BBQ lid and then diverts his attention back to me. “I’m not saying you need to lock it in right now. It’s still early days. I think we just mean that this whole beingwith someone, and a normal human compared to past options, is new for you. No need to run away if things get tough.”
“We keep talking as though they are a sure thing, but it’s still early for them,” Oliver reminds us all.
My sister waves them off. “Doesn’t matter.”
“Oh, look at that, dessert time.” I pivot sharply to escape, and I hear them chuckling in the background.
I still have a grin on my face because they all mean well. That doesn’t mean they haven’t succeeded at stirring things inside my head.
I’m not a fan of the unknown. Laws are set, paperwork has deadlines, it’s either a yay or nay when negotiating. Not much room for the undetermined.
Which is why in my non-work life I’m going around in circles.
It’s only scaring me in tiny increments.
The restof the evening was simple. Smooth conversations, a slow dinner, and my usual reminder to my sister that she can crash here and Bo can sleep in the portable crib. Normally, she takes me up on the offer, but she just laughed me off and said she was going home so I could have alone time with Esme. I had to take a moment to remind myself that I’m still on planet earth, as this is a whole new scenario for me.
But here I am sliding into bed after a shower. Esme took hers when I was cleaning the grill.
Her tiny satin shorts and matching tank are frustrating. Perfectly hot on her, but it just means more fabric to get off.
“I had fun,” she informs me.
“Yeah, simple but nice.”
She chortles a laugh before she rolls to her side. “Anything but simple. I got the third degree from just about everyone.”
A droll smile hangs on my mouth. “You too, huh?”
“It was… confronting?” She grimaces.
I laugh out loud. “Something like that.” My cheeks hurt from how much smiling I’ve done today. “Hey, I was thinking that you should make your own desk area, that whole sanctuary thing. I have my spare room that is supposed to be an office, but I don’t use it,” I suggest since she’s been using her laptop in corners of my house.
She swats me. “I’m here temporarily, remember? Setting up a desk feels a little… like a big step.” She seems unsure of her words.
I look at her strangely, internally not liking her words either. “Penny for your thoughts?” My voice is uneven.
She grins, as we are both tiptoeing around the bluntness that we normally have. “I’m just thinking about our pace. The speed of our relationship developing,” she answers for us. “I like this little world you and I have created and found ourselves in.”
Her eyes sparkle differently. Promising. But they’re searching for an answer from me.
“We’re on the same page.” A silence stretches between us. “Hey, Esme.”
Her lips pinch together as she waits patiently for me to finish my thought.
“Sometimes you watch me sleep. I wake and you’re there. I know I’m great to look at.” I sound a little conceited, but it’s to lighten the mood. “But I never know if you’ll be there or not as the first thing I see in the morning.” Damn, do I sound near vulnerable?
She smirks to herself. “That’s good, as every day shouldn’t be the same.”
A warm smile syncs with a feeling for her that claws inside of me.
Still, I might have a different kind of statement to make. I reach into the bedside table drawer and pull out the handcuffs. This isn’t our first time bringing these out.
