“You don’t need to feel guilty,” Nash reminds me.
“No?” I bring Bo to rest on my hip. “I just need to be judged, because apparently, I can’t see what is so obvious. Clearly, I’m being careless with the situation.”
Nash steps forward and touches my shoulder to ensure our eyes meet. “You’re not doing that, either. You and I are right where we’re meant to be, I promise. Love after loss, right? We just happened to find one another again.”
My heart is in his hand, but the audience is throwing stones.
“Again?” his father squeaks out before grabbing his scotch glass. “Why am I not surprised. I don’t even want to know the timeline of that in relation to my dead son.”
Nash directs his fuming gaze to his father. “Not the timeline you think. So just please stop.” His mom is shaking her head, his father emotionless gulping another sip, and I’m staring helplessly when Nash finds my eyes to keep me in a stronghold. “Don’t let them bother you.”
“I need to process this shitshow of a dinner,” I admit.
“Don’t go. We haven’t even gotten a photo of Bo eating turkey.” Gail seems frantic, in denial, and somehow thinks this dinner can be sewn back together.
We all look at her. “Trust me. You don’t want a photo right now. So that’s not happening.” Nash’s monotone voice brings disappointment to his mother’s face. But his embraceon my eyes returns. “Don’t run alone. Not when we can do it together.”
Gently I shake my head. “Every dart I feared they would throw, they just did. Let Bo and me go, we’ll talk later.”
To my surprise, but then again Nash has always been brave, he steps forward to kiss my forehead. “We’ll be okay. One day at a time.”
My shoulders sink low, my body defeated, as I leave them all be, feeling as though I’ve destroyed their family the moment I entered their lives.
21
NASH
Watching Summer flee is as excruciating as facing my father who decided to cross the line on many fronts.
“What the hell was that?” I gesture with my hand to where Summer and Bo are now nowhere in sight. “Whatever your opinions, why on earth would you say all of that shit to her?”
My dad pinches the bridge of his nose and seems to have a wave of remorse. He takes a moment to gather his bearings, and then his eyes flick up to meet mine. “Okay, I was maybe a little too candid. My views are still the same.”
“Summer will never want to see us again,” my mom chides my dad. “She’s Zac’s widow and the mother of our grandson.”
“Exactly. My son’s widow. Last year it was Thanksgiving here with one of our sons, and now this year it’s Thanksgiving with our other son.” My father relays his opinion.
I shake my head as my hands clench in the air before sliding down the back of my neck, doing everything in mypower not to reach for my father in pure fury. “Leave her out of this. It’s me you have the problem with.”
He takes hold of his scotch glass again. “Damn straight. You couldn’t resist comforting her and taking advantage of the situation.”
“Oh my God.” I look up to the ceiling only to align my nose back down. “We’re going in circles. Summer and I… we just connected, always have. We’re both hurting, except… not with one another.” My heart pinches because maybe to the outside world it might appear that Summer and I disregard anyone except each other.
“You know my thoughts are not far away from the truth.”
“I’m going to leave you two alone,” my mother says, getting up from the table. “I don’t want to hear any more of this. Am I surprised you and she happened so quickly? Yes. But I’m by no means blindsided.” She’s disappointed with my father and me in our behavior, and she has every right to be.
We both watch her nearly march away. My chest moves visibly up and down as I count in my head to try and calm down. It’s useless.
“Why the hell did you say all those things?” I grit out.
My dad crosses his arms. “Someone needed to. You need to grasp the reality of this situation. You’re ignoring reality.”
“What? That you pretty much just called your daughter-in-law an indecent woman?”
He licks his lips and pauses for a second. “You’re right, and I’ll apologize to her later.”
“Damn straight you will. You don’t even deserve the forgiveness that I know she will give you because she’s a good person, so kind that she gave Zac everything he ever wanted.”
