Which means he will do the same now that he’s back in Lake Spark.
“This is pretty good,”Lexi informs me with a full mouth as we sit by the turned-off fireplace in the inn’s lobby.
I hold up a small wrapped candy. “I think so. I mean, we have the welcome sugar cookies now shaped in pumpkins and ghosts. Now we also have homemade Halloween candy with Dizzy Duck Inn wrappers.”
“A perfect touch.”
“Yeah, completely.” I drop the caramel back into the bowl. Lexi swallows her candy, and the way she’s studying me is unnerving. “What?” I wonder.
“Are you okay? You seem distant. Not in a bad way, just distant in a different way.”
A long exhale leaves my lungs. “I don’t know anymore. It’s more Nash reappearing in my life.”
“Hmm. Is it not going well with him following Zac’s wishes?”
I press my lips together. “For Bo, it’s fine. For me?” My head tips to the side. “Not so much. He’s stirring up too much.”
“About Zac?”
My mouth crosses from one side to the other. “No… Nash and I.”
Lexi surveys the area to ensure we’re all alone, and despite nobody in sight, she still scoots closer to me. “What about you two, exactly?”
“We were together once. Long before Zac.”
She offers me a comforting look. “I kind of figured. You just never talked about it.”
My shoulders lift to my ears. “Kind of hard to. I married his brother. But Nash coming back stirs up a pot of memories, remorse for even thinking some of things that are running through my head…” I begin to list.
She touches my arm. “If you mean Zac, well, he isn’t around to judge,” she delicately reminds me.
“I don’t know what he can judge me for, except it feels like something. A tide is changing. I could say it was Nash and me fighting, but in truth, it moved as soon as he returned. And I don’t know what to do.” My lips begin to quiver because everything inside of me hurts, wants, and hopes all in one.
Lexi offers me a hug and soothes my back with her palm. “Maybe this is what you need to move on. We all mourn in different ways.”
I begin to play with the ends of my hair. “Perhaps so. I’m just scared shitless that a door to the past might be reopened. I’m not sure it’s the right thing to do.”
I always feel appreciation when my friends listen without judgment. I’ve never shared the full story of the dynamics between me and the Nix brothers, but they would be blind not to see that there is something far too deep. A wound that I’m wondering if it could ever be healed.
The two wounds they caused. Or was it me?
“There isn’t a timeframe for when you can move on. Orexplore what needs to be. Maybe that’s what you need? Clarity, and that only can happen in a way that works for you.”
My lips quirk out, and everything inside of me is one big hurricane brewing. “You’re right.”
“Good, because Nash just arrived with the other owners who use inn meetings as an excuse to just have a good time,” she nervously states with a droll smile.
We both stand, and she heads straight to her husband. Stone walks to the reception desk to ask something, and Nash stays put. But I don’t say anything; my chest visibly moving up and down is enough of a message.
“How was your meeting? Or rather time at the ice rink? I can only imagine it was all productive,” Lexi teases her husband and pats his chest.
Holden circles his eyes between all of us, with the stiffness between me and Nash gnawing away at our current loss of clarity. “Not productive at all except for getting some tension out. Funny how skating and hockey pucks can do that.”
She yanks his arm slightly, well aware that his observation is only multiplying the strain in here.
My only option is to escape when Nash doesn’t say anything, instead he wipes his thumb across his jaw. “I’m going to leave you all. Need to check on one of the rooms. A guest had a special request before they arrive,” I explain.
I dart away before anyone can say anything.
