Or at least me. Because of guilt.
Someone bumps into my shoulder, ignoring me, and it doesn’t take long for me to see it’s Zac. He storms straight to Summer and pauses for a moment as he looks at the nurse who gives him a smile as she gathers her things and gives them space.
Zac sweeps Summer’s hand between his two palms. “Fuck, I was so worried. When Nash called, I nearly went out of my mind.”
Summer groans as she attempts to sit further up, and my brother is quick to touch her arms to encourage her to slow down. “Sorry if we ruined your BBQ, hope you saved us some leftovers,” she attempts to joke, but her voice is groggy.
“Not funny. I guess Nash was taking you home. Thankfully, he was there to help you.” Zac glances back to me, and I can see the concern in his face. “It’s miraculous that she’s not in more pieces. We’re lucky that you’re okay and we can focus on Summer getting better.”
Over his shoulder, I see Summer gawking her eyes at me. She wants me to say something, but I can’t. It’s my fault she’s lying here. I broke her heart, and the anger within me caused me to lose focus on the road. All because I don’t act normal around this woman.
“Relax, Zac, Mr. Future Doctor. I’ll be fine. They want me to stay overnight for observation, but tomorrow I’ll be good as new,” Summer attempts to calm him.
My brother’s eyes whip to Summer. “Not so easy. I want to check your vitals.”
“You’re a soon-to-be doctor if things go well. I think she’s fine,” I remind him. Partly, because I don’t want him to study all the ways that Summer is in pain right now… because of my doing.
“I’m going to ignore him.” Zac perches on the edge of the bed and holds Summer’s hand tighter. “Summer, I would hate life if you weren’t in it. You’re everything to me.”
She can’t look at him. And my focus on Summer is boiling emotions inside of me. All I do is cause her pain. This has to be a sign, another reason that I made the right decision.
Zac is about to melt down because he cares more for this woman than anything. He loves and pines for her, that I’m sure of.
The thought already spins in my mind.
“We should probably let Summer sleep,” I suggest softly.
“I’m not leaving her. They must be checking for a concussion.”
A sound escapes Summer as she attempts to shift again. “Really, it will be fine. Nash was my superhero.”
My brother circles his thumb on top of Summer’s hand. “Doesn’t matter. You’re precious goods to me. Probably Nash, too… well, when he doesn’t disappear for long periods of time for the hockey season. But you get my drift,” he attempts to make a joke.
However, he’s right again.
Summer’s eyes soften to me, pleading, and maybe she already grasps my thoughts.
I’m no good for her. She deserves better. Around me, her life gets turned upside down.
Water begins to swell in the bottom of her eyes.
“Nash,” she warns and pleads, her voice uneven and quiet.
Our eyes hold, and it hurts, but sometimes you have to close a door.
Maybe she’s lucky.
Her scar that will be visible on her head will be nothing compared to the deep scar that I’ll carry on my heart.
7
NASH
Ican’t tear my eyes away from the charm trapped between the pads of Summer’s fingers. She just explained how she ended up with the necklace as if it’s no big deal. Of course, she has no clue.
“I don’t wear it every day, but still, it’s special. I keep thinking maybe I should add my wedding ring to it.” She splays her hand out in front of her to examine her fingers. I notice her fingers are bare; it causes me to wonder, but it makes it easier for me to return my attention to the necklace.
My throat bobs as I try to suppress the memory because I’ve had enough memories today. “It’s pretty.”
