The thorn in my side. Nash breaking my heart then distancing himself from Lake Spark altogether. I know he has an investment in the Dizzy Duck, it was their parents’ stipulation when they sold the place.
“It’s not that. Although, I wish we were at a better place. He has his hockey career.” A pit in my stomach always forms when we talk about him. “Nothing ever happened between you and him, right?”
My heart sinks. A lie is a lie, but for some reason, Nash and I decided long ago that it’s better for Zac. Not even sure why I went along with it, but I keep my feet firmly planted for stability against the lie that is about to spew from my mouth. “No, of course not.”
Relief fills his eyes. “Sorry. Of course.” A half-smilebreaks out. “I mean, at the random family functions when he graces us with his presence, you two look like you might kill each other. And to be honest, I wouldn’t like it if you two had some history. In fact, I would hate it. I’m too protective of you, and my brother isn’t always great news when it comes to the female population.”
Oh, I know. Preaching to the choir.
“I know you’ve clarified this many times, it’s just lately…” He rolls his shoulder back then subtly shakes his head. “I’m being crazy.”
That’s why we haven’t told him. No need to crush him. I’m not blind, I know Zac loves me in a different way, he’s just never openly admitted it, and still, it hasn’t affected our friendship.
Swallowing, I remind myself to bury Nash deeper inside of me, as he surfaces too much in my thoughts when someone brings him up. “Anyhow, was that all, detective?” I manage to bring back my bright and cheery voice.
Zac seems to chuckle under his breath, and his eyes circle the room as he seems to be finding words. “You know I would do anything for you, right?”
“Of course. And I return the sentiment in full.” I beam.
“Then I have the world’s most extreme favor to ask.” His face shades to pleading.
My eyes narrow as I try to figure out where this conversation is going. “Okay, and…” It draws out.
“It’s more that I need a favor to ensure that everything is set for a life insurance policy should...”
“Did the doctor say something?” My heart sinks for the second time in this conversation, but this time it’s all devoted to Zac. Fear fills me at record speed. He’s been healthy for years, but it doesn’t surprise me that there could always be a recurrence or it leading to something else.
He doesn’t need to say any words, his face says it all. “The thing is, I have this long list of things that I wanted in life but…”
I stare at him blankly. “What’s on the list?”
“You… Marry me.”
Harlow wavesa hand in front of my face. “Uhm, are you okay?”
My eyes flicker. “Oh yeah, totally.”
Not really. Did I do the right thing? I married my best friend. I couldn’t say no because of an overbearing feeling of caring for him while he was ill. I was naïve to think that he was supposed to get better. I wasn’t supposed to feel that I wanted a child and that he would be a great father. Zac was optimistic he would be okay, until he told me when I was very pregnant that he didn’t have long left.
Harlow sinks into the booth. “You know if you need a break or something, just send Bo our way. I’d be happy to take care of him if you need rest or…”
I look at her, unimpressed but still with a humored smile. “I’m sure you mean if Nash and I need to have a serious discussion?”
“No,” she lies, her voice uneven, then she takes a second before she gives in. “Totally,” she says bluntly.
That causes the corners of my mouth to tug up. Twirling some hair around my finger, I do my best to sink into my current life status. “I should have thought about this more. I mean, not just agreeing that he could move in.”
“Maybe. But if it’s in his will, can you even do anything? How do those things work?”
A short laugh escapes me. “I’m still processing therequest a little more. Instead, my mouth didn’t connect with my brain, and I found myself agreeing to it.”
She shrugs. “Maybe that’s a good thing. Our brains are the last to catch up. Besides, wouldn’t you want Bo to be around his family?”
I hold my mug up to her. “Exactly that.” Harlow waits for me to continue because she can tell that I’m about to rant, and I do. “We will just have to set some rules, go over schedules, and he will need to learn that we work around Bo’s needs. And he has to work on his baby-caring skills. Do you think I can leave him alone with Bo yet?” I bring a finger to my chin, also recognizing that they had an instant connection. “Of course not, silly thought. He probably doesn’t even know how to change a diaper. Oh, and he absolutely better not leave dirty dishes in the sink.”
Harlow taps her nails on the table. “You might need to slow down. I think you first need to make him a spare key,” she points out.
“Ugh, this is not happening.” I collapse onto the table with an innate need to bang my head for show.
