He takes a few seconds to recover before he withdraws and falls onto his back.
We’re both perfectly spent.
* * *
I leanon my side with the sheet covering me loosely and my head propped on my arm as I watch Holden reappear from the bathroom after having taken care of the condom.
There is a droll smile on his face as he walks naked back to the bed and then joins me under the covers.
"That escalated quickly," he jokes.
"It seems so." My lips quirk out. "I don't think you particularly care, though."
He glances at me. "Not really. Should I? I think we both know this was a release for one another, and there will probably be a second time or third."
"Is that what you do with the others?"
He snorts a laugh. "You really have a great interpretation of me." He sounds almost offended, but his relaxed face doesn't fade. "I haven’t had sex with anyone for a few months, believe it or not."
"Well, I mean, I guess you still know what to do," I taunt him, and it earns me Holden gently tackling me until he is on his side looking down on me.
"You are kind of a sunshiny, almost annoying woman, so fortunately for you, I appreciate your humor."
I lick my lips. "Likewise. It's nice seeing very adult Holden again. Last time I saw you, well, you were an adult but with a lot of chaos in your life and not the good kind. You were so distracted that everyone kind of gave you some space," I explain, and it's honest.
Sure, even I wasn't immune to his looks, but it never crossed my mind that he would be a contender since he was way beyond my years in terms of life experience. Now? The moment I walked into his office, a light went on, and I could see maybe more in him, completely unexplainable.
"My life is still chaos," he reminds me honestly.
I smile softly at him. "The good kind." We both lie on our backs, and I tip my nose in the direction of a canvas photoon the wall of Lori in a tutu. "It's a great picture."
He follows the line of my eyes. "Yeah, she was maybe eight there. She used to dance more but figure skating is her hobby of choice now. Lori still goes to one ballet class a week because her coach says it will help on the ice." The smile of affection and love on his face is apparent. "She's good. I'm happy it brings me to the ice rink on a frequent basis, and memories hit me." Holden points to another picture on the wall of his son playing in shallow water at the lake. "As much as I dreamed of raising a little hockey player, Harry is our science and music guy. I've accepted that one squeaking instrument at a time. A great kid when he's on good behavior."
I begin to draw on his arm with my fingers. "You love them. Any fool could see that. One day, you will look back at this chapter and laugh at some of their tricks."
He chuckles as his own finger begins to swirl on my thigh under the sheet, not even in a sexual way. "You’re completely right. If you are firm on that theory, then I'm sure you will roll into motherhood with a breeze."
I shrug. "Maybe, not sure I'm ready for that now, though, if ever."
"Hmm."
I roll back onto my side and tuck my hands under my head. "Can I ask? If it's too personal, then don't answer. But do you think they are acting this way because, well, their mom isn't in the picture?"
He ponders. "First off, with you, I don't seem to mind talking about this stuff, which is new for me. But I'm not sure, at least they never mention it. At some point, it must cross their mind that their mom doesn't want any involvement. I sure as hell have tried to make up for that by being two parents in one… You just caught me on a bad month… or year. It's been a wild ride for the last year or two."
"Growing pains," I assure him.
Holden has a serious look when his eyes greet mine. Maybe for a moment I think it's appreciation. "I should probably go."
It's nice not being alone for a night, but I follow his cues because we need to keep this simple. "Yep."
Neither one of us moves.
There’s a tension that can't be ignored.
Then he throws the sheets off us. "Fuck it. One more time."
I giggle as we head into another round.
