I blow his finger away, determined to challenge him, except I can’t. “Horrible idea.” I smile.
“All the more reason to do it.” He grins.
My finger points to him. “We’re sleeping,” I warn.
“I’m a gentleman,” he counters.
I laugh once as I turn away from him to walk to the devil’s den. “Hardly.”
This is what continues to happen around him. He gets cocky, and a powerful force within me eagerly follows.
It’s a few minutes later when I’m lying on my side in Vaughn’s bed, staring at him as he is in the same position, that I know this is the beginning of a road that may lead to a destination that I’m not quite sure of.
Luckily, I’m not sure I’m ready to open business down below yet. The doctor gave the all-clear a few weeks ago, but mentally, I’m just not there. I believe Vaughn is aware, which is why it confuses me even more that his look is soft. He wants me here, in his bed, only to sleep, without our daughter present.
My head rests on my hands under my cheek. “Our wall is gone.”
“Kind of the point.” Vaughn brings his hand to my hair to stroke once in a comforting kind of way.
“What are we doing, Vaughn?” I hate this elatedness that must be showing on my face.
His eyes are tense yet delicate, and it feels as though he is admiring me in this moment. “Nothing. I just think it’s ridiculous for you to sleep in your own room.”
“Really?” I’m doubting him.
“Nah, I would have you thrown over my lap in no time to spank you if I could. However, we accidentally made a child who is amazing, which means we have to skirt the lines of caution. Which we can do in bed… to sleep.”
I giggle at his word choice. “Hmm, we could end up in murky waters.”
“Or it could be the start of the conversation that we’ve been avoiding.”
I nuzzle into his palm near my ear. “It’s kind of, I don’t know… We’re good at the physical stuff, and we have a connection, but we’ve never actually, you know… dated.”
Vaughn sits up in a flash, as though I hit a nerve, but I’m confused why his soft look is anything but scared. “You’re right. I didn’t really think about it like that.”
Now I join him when I slide my upper body up to lean against the headboard. “It’s because you were never one to date, I think. Not for anyone. Our ability to connect so easily was also due to distance. We never had to confront the explanation of what we were doing. It was easy to just be… friends with benefits?” My voice sounds uneven, as I’m not sure my word choice is correct.
“A good way to examine it. However, all of that went out the window when you got pregnant. Kind of bound for life now.”
Glancing at the monitor on the side table, I see that Nora is still sound asleep. She’s also the reminder of a simple fact, which makes me whip my head right back in Vaughn’s direction. “I don’t think forcing something because we share a child is the right approach.” As much as I want everything for our daughter, Nora seeing her parents together because they felt an obligation isn’t the best solution either.
A tickle down by fingers resting on the duvet causes my sight to take in the view of Vaughn interlacing our fingers in a way that feels far too natural.
“We agree on a lot of things, Isla. Which is why I wouldn’t even be attempting to try anything if I felt it was just for Nora’s sake. But it is because of her that we both get to reassess things. You’re right, distance made it easier before. Now it just gives us a reason to confront it.”
I can’t read him right now, but my face tips up in caution. “Did you just say you’re attempting something?”
Vaughn’s lips roll in before popping out. “You know the thoughts in our head that we’ve both acknowledged yet haven’t said out loud? It’s something like that.” The man is almost bashful, I’m not sure I’ve seen this side of him.
This time, I interlink our fingers. “So, I guess this is the beginning of us attempting to address the elephant in the room.”
“Maybe. But the elephant is right there.” He indicates with his head behind me.
Quickly I look then laugh when I see a stuffed animal on the floor.
“Smartass.” I turn to Vaughn and playfully swat his arm. It only triggers us to enter a scuffle of tickling, that ends with me nearly squealing in delight, right before he pins me to the mattress, dragging my arms up over my head. Our laughter fades but our tilted smirks stay put.
It would be so easy if he leaned down to kiss me, yet the dimples on his cheeks tell me that he is about to impress me instead.
