“Still, you can’t avoid Lake Spark.” I reach out to touch her shoulder, to both comfort her and grab an opportunity to touch her skin because I know she’ll tolerate it.
She tilts her head to the side and allows her cheek to nuzzle into my wrist near her shoulder. It’s a throwback to a time when we could have had everything. Through the years she occasionally does this, reminding me of the trust we have with one another, the connection we will always share, and the reminder that a different ending floats in our minds.
“I’m not avoiding Lake Spark. I’m just debating what to remember.” Her voice is delicate.
I step closer to her, and I move my hand to her cheek to brush my thumb along the stretch of soft skin on her cheekbone. “Everything,” I say huskily.
Something must strike in her mind because she attacks her bottom lip, and she steps back. “So, uhm, I guess you have Connor for the first few weeks of summer vacation, and I know he’ll enjoy hockey camp one of those weeks.” She is changing the subject.
Her avoidance of topics causes me to smirk. “Yeah, we’ll be fine, like always. Are you ready?”
“Studying for the Bar exam is a job in itself. I’m lucky I could give up my part-time paralegal job. Thanks for changing the schedule so I have some alone time to study.”
A proud smile takes over me. She’s been waiting for this. College took longer because Connor was a surprise, then she had LSATs and law school. It was the plan and dream she always wanted, and now it’s within her grasp.
“You’ll nail it. And you take all the time you need…” I remember she mentioned Illinois only has the exam twice a year. I want her to succeed, which is probably why it spits out of my mouth. “I’ve got Connor covered and can bump up child support if you need.”
The moment it slips off my lips, she raises a brow at me and gives me a stern look. But she isn’t mad. She shakes her head at me, entertained. “We’re fine.” Her pride is strong, or rather, she will never ask for more because I know she appreciates the generous child support I give; it’s to cover her needs too. She reaches out to gently shove my shoulder. “Look at you, Mr. Big Shot Retired Hockey Star with millions.”
“If only I had it all,” I say it in jest, but the truth is underlying.
I may have the house, the money, the car, and a great kid, but I don’t have her.
A car slowly drives by, reminding us that we’re in a parking lot.
“I should probably go. Connor’s at a friend’s having a sleepover, and I promised to meet someone for drinks.”
I tense. “Someone,” I mutter.
Clearly not quietly enough, as Elle chortles a sound. “Another mom from school. Lena, you know her.”
Rolling my eyes, I remind myself that I knew that. Connor makes it a point to tell me which single dads are swimming in close waters to Elle at school pickup, because even my kid tries to light fire under my ass.
I nod once. “Have fun then. I’ll text Connor later.”
“I know. You always do.”
Damn straight. Even when it was hockey season and I was traveling for games, I texted every day.
“My sister will pick him up for camp on Friday since I have a meeting,” I remind her.
“Is Violet excited to help out with camp?”
I grin to myself. My sister is in college studying business, so I offered her a summer job to do administration. “Excited may be a stretch, but she is appreciative, I think, and it will be good for her resume.”
“I bet. Just warn her that when she picks up Connor, I’ll be out back probably bawling my eyes out that he’s going to camp. You know how it goes.” She grins as she says that.
I scratch my cheek. “Yeah, I do.”
“Well, I should go. Text me if I need to pack anything special, I just figured you have the hockey equipment thing sorted out.” Her hands make gestures in the air because she seems unsure what to do.
I give her a little salute. “Yes, ma’am.”
She playfully swats me in passing, and I pretend to be hurt. But that’s us. Incredibly comfortable with each other.
I truly believe it’s because I’m her guy, and she won’t let anyone else have a slither of the connection that we have. She just doesn’t admit it.
I watch her for an extra second as she gets in her car to leave, very much aware that this feeling of wanting her is more apparent now because my life is changing. The rush of hockey is gone, which means that underlying feeling is louder than ever. I have no more distractions.
