He nuzzles his nose against mine as he lets my arm go and instead opts to rest his hand on my waist.
“Oh, I know. You got a ring,” I reply.
“Which you haven’t given back. You’re considering this week.” His voice goes soft and raspy.
“So many thoughts are floating in my head. How convenient is the timing, huh? Only when we both seem to have gotten what we wanted.”
“It’s not like I’m bored and thought ‘oh let me fuck up my co-parenting arrangement with the only woman I ever want to share kids with.’ It’s that I know you’ve almost achieved your goals and my career is over. Everything that caused that promise is no longer a trigger for us to pretend that we were able to move on.”
We are one and the same. His words could literally fall off my tongue except I’m not brave enough to speak them. Lucky for us, Ford woke up determined today.
I lean my head to the side, attempting to get an extra inch or two between us, although the damage has already been done. I’m completely affected by this man.
On second thought, I slant my head back to him and bring my palms to his face, as if I’m going to be bold and kiss him.
He’s here for it, as his hand on my side yanks me tightly to his body.
My heart races because I’ve played this scene in my head a million times. I’ve imagined what it would be like, I’ve secretly hoped for it.
I trace his stubbled jawline with my lips, merely a touch but enough to get the oxytocin from this man that I think my body may need to survive. It’s why I always allow the gentle touch here or there from Ford.
Closer.
So close.
Nearly the end.
But the moment our lips brush, the feeling is too intense.
I step back, aware that crossing the line with Ford will be a flame that was dimmed but now will be rekindled.
“I think tonight I’m going to take it easy. Study a bit for the Bar.”
Even avoiding looking at him, I know he’s disappointed. “I can throw some steaks on the grill or order a pizza.”
I swallow the chance that I let slip away. “I’m not that hungry.”
“Okay. Well...”
“I’ll see you in the morning for Margo’s.”
“Will you play along for Margo?”
I touch my hair nervously. “I’ll sleep on it.”
Ford throws his hands up in surrender. “That’s all I can ask. If you need anything, then just find me. My bedroom door will be open.”
My eyes gawk at him in a double take.
He quickly pinches my cheek on the way by. “Take that how you want. All options are on the table, but just remember, I don’t sleep with a shirt on,” he calls out in passing.
* * *
After attempting to study,exchanging some texts with my son, and changing into pajamas before braiding my hair, I tried to sleep. An epic fail, as I tossed and turned for a good hour.
It’s the middle of the night when I venture downstairs for a drink. The kitchen is big and should be filled with family meals and kids. I shake my head when I catch myself daydreaming. I’m relieved to find myself alone in the kitchen.
Yet disappointed at the same time.
