“One week in the off-season, my parents got a call. Hadley had just turned two, and Cameron was on his way back from work. There was an accident…” I feel my throat tighten and bile swirls in my stomach. My eyes close, and I have no desire to finish that sentence.
“I’m so sorry.” The light from the fire makes her sympathetic eyes more intense.
“Apparently, he had made a will when Hadley was a baby and without telling me made me Hadley’s guardian. To make it worse, we managed to see him for a few hours before he passed.”
“Spencer…”
It was a grueling few hours because nobody wants to see their brother give up.
“If I could have switched spots, I would have. He always told me how much he resented that everyone focused on me and baseball, but for some reason, he chose me to raise Hadley.”
“I don’t know what to say.”
I drift my eyes back to her. “Nothing. Just listen. I’ll never know why he chose me, but he had an idea in his head that it should be me. I promised I would raise Hadley and be sure she knows who her father is, but he made me guarantee that Hadley would only ever know one father… me.”
“Spencer.” April’s voice is shaky, and a tear falls.
“He wanted to argue to the very end, but ultimately, I followed through.”
April hugs me and pulls me tighter to her. “He chose you for a reason.”
Taking a deep breath, I note to myself how it feels like a relief to share this. I’ve been holding this in.
“It’s fucked up. I wanted to hate him, but she is the best gift, and now I can’t imagine life without her.”
April creates a little distance from us but still holds me. “You’re a dad, Spencer. A real dad.”
“I try.” I blow out another breath. “She was young enough that she doesn’t remember him.”
“Your parents?”
“They had a rough few years after losing Cameron, but Hadley was the light for all of us. Sometimes I wonder if it can be that she gives them a reason to be happy, yet at moments it becomes too much of a reminder. Anyway, they are in a good place now but want to honor Cameron’s wishes, hence why my mom isn’t here every day. She wants me to be the father that it seems my brother thought I could be.”
“Who else knows?”
“Hudson, but I doubt he told Piper, and if he did then she seems to be keeping it to herself. And your mom knows.” April’s eyes flood with recognition as the dots connect. “She helped arrange the legalities.”
April nods in understanding. “That’s what you were talking about.”
“Yeah. I told her that I was going to speak with you.”
She nibbles her bottom lip before it begins to tremble. “Why did you tell me?”
I move my body to get a better view of her, squaring us off, because I need her to have a clear view of how confident I am that I should share everything with her.
“No secrets. Only honesty.” She reaches out to rest her hand on my cheek. “That day at Pioneer Park, for a reason I still can’t explain, I saw a glimmer of a possibility of being with someone, not just for Hadley but myself. I didn’t… want to let that go.”
“But you hated me.”
“We bickered, not exactly hate when we both reluctantly agreed to spend a Saturday in a park… together.” I raise a brow because I know I’m right.
The corner of her mouth curves. “I guess I didn’t put up a fight.”
“I don’t want to lose you, so here I am, leaving no stone unturned, because you and me? We’re worth the chance.”
A tear falls down her cheek, and I’m quick to wipe away the warm drop from her skin with my thumb. “Thank you for sharing this with me. It fills in a few puzzle pieces… puzzle…” April stops mid-sentence and seems to be registering what she is saying. “Missing puzzle piece.” Her smile tilts a little more.
“What’s going on?”
