And with that parting shot, he left.
TWENTY-EIGHT
You’re never gonna findanother guy who’ll be better for you than him.
I couldn’t get those words out of my head.
I was still reeling from my conversation with Declan when I got home hours ago, so I tried throwing myself into my book to take my mind off the constant worrying I’d been doing over Garrett since I got the sad news. Guilt that I wasn’t with him ate at me as the words on my computer screen began to blur together. My eyes ached from the strain of staring at the blinking cursor for hours on end, trying in vain to get the words to come.
But they wouldn’t.
I hadn’t been able to write a single fucking word since Garrett let me go. Not that I could blame him for doing so; I’d basically given him no other choice. I all but forced him to give up on me.
Now he was two states away, grieving the loss of a friend who was more like family. And because I was too afraid to take a leap of faith, he was suffering that loss alone.Sure, he had the other guys with him, but they were all mourning. None of them had someone to take care of them, to hold them up. I could have been that for Garrett if I hadn’t been so hardheaded.
“You’ve been sitting in that exact same position for three hours now, and I haven’t heard you type a single word.”
I looked over my laptop screen and blinked rapidly to clear the spots from my vision. Jeez, I was going to go cross-eyed if I kept this up. Corrine glanced up from the magazine she’d been flipping through just long enough to smirk at me from her place on the sofa, the very same sofa that had been my bed for the past several days.
Having lived in Garrett’s huge house for so long had rubbed off without me even noticing. Now that Liddy and I were temporarily set up in Corrine’s apartment, I felt like the walls were closing in on me. There wasn’t enough space to move… or think… or breathe. I missed the house Garrett had tried so hard to make a home for my monkey and me. I missedhim.
Finally giving up on my manuscript, I slammed the laptop closed, propped my elbows on the wooden surface of her dining table, and dropped my head into my hands, rubbing at my temples to stave off the headache that threatened.
“I can’t focus,” I admitted on a groan. “I’m so close to finishing this story, but the ending just won’t come together.”
“Hmm. Maybe that’s because you fucked up your own ending?”
My head shot up and I gave my friend a narrow-eyed glare. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
She slapped the magazine closed with a huff and tossed it onto the coffee table as she stood from her couch/my bed. “Don’t act stupid. You know exactly what I’m talking about.” I’d been a little surprised when she didn’t start in with the third degree the moment I got home, but from the look on her face just then, I knew she’d been waiting for the perfectmoment.
I pushed back from the tiny table and stood as well, mimicking her pose by slamming my hands on my hips. “Uh… no, I don’t. Or I wouldn’t be asking. And don’t call me stupid,” I snapped indignantly.
“Gah!” she shouted up at the ceiling. “You’re driving me crazy!”
“Shhh!” I looked to her partially closed bedroom door where Liddy was sleeping on the small blowup mattress I bought. It wasn’t the most ideal living situation, but I was hoping I’d find something more permanent for the two of us soon. “You wake her up now and she’ll be up all damn night.”
“I don’t care!” my best friend cried, throwing her arms out in frustration. “She shouldn’t even be here anyway! She should be in her own bed in her own room in herown home! But you’ve got your head so far up your ass you can’t see it. God, Gwen. I love you more than I would my own sister if I’d had one, but you really screwed up this time.”
My shoulders went stiff, my back straight, and the tiny hairs all over my body stood on end. “What are you talking about?”
“Garrett!” she whisper-yelled. “I’m talking about Garrett!”
“Corrie…,” I warned. “Don’t.”
“Why?” she threw back. “Because you don’t want to hear it? Well too bad. I’d be a terrible best friend if I didn’t point out what a huge, colossal,giganticmistake you were making.”
I plopped back down in my chair and opened my laptop again in an attempt to shut her up. “Fine, you’ve said what you wanted to say. Now let it go. I’m done talking about it.”
She let out a caustic laugh. “Oh no you don’t.” She stomped over to me and snapped my computer closed so fast I barely had time to move my fingers out of the way.
“Hey!”
“You’re going to listen to me whether you like it or not. AndI don’t care if you get mad at me. You’ll get over it, because one day you’ll see I did this for your own good.”
“Stop.”
But she didn’t. Corrine was on a roll, and trying to stop her was like trying to stop a wrecking ball. Suddenly her voice dropped several octaves, and pitying understanding twisted in her words. “I understand why you’re scared, babe. I do. I was there when you lost everyone you ever loved. I watched you claw your way out of that sorrow and try to build a life for yourself. But you’re still so bogged down with grief that you couldn’t see what was right in front of you.”
