“I’d like you to keep it,” he said quietly. “Something niceto remember me by if you ever go back to Milan. Not just a keychain.”
Little did he know that I had all of his gifts on my bedroom windowsill.
The keychain…
The troll doll…
The charms…
The tiny bits of origami.
They were the first thing I saw when I woke up…
And the last thing I saw when I closed my eyes at night.
And every single one of them had become precious to me.
As he turned around and walked away, I wanted to call out for him to come back –
But fear strangled my throat and choked back my words.
However, there was another voice that fought against the fear.
It kept ringing insistently in my head:
You fool – he’s NOTHING like Maurizio!
Suddenly, I was terrified that I’d made the wrong decision –
But he was already gone.
My eyes blurred with tears, and I raced for the bathroom.
I hurried inside and locked the door –
And then burst into tears.
Part of me still believed that I had dodged a bullet by turning him away.
But another part of me, a bigger part, was terrified that I had shut out someone who could have loved me… and someoneIcould have loved.
My heart had broken for him back in the café…
But now, alone by myself, my heart broke forme…
And everything I might have lost because I was afraid.
28
Giorgio
As I walked back into the dress shop, it felt like my shoes were made of lead. My guts hurt like I’d been sucker-punched.
Especially my heart. That hurt worst of all.
Thank God Adriano wasn’t there. I didn’t think I could handle any of his ribbing.
What’s a matter, you fuckin’ pussy? One girl turns you down, and you act like the world is ending!
