He wanted to stay in the Game.
And he wanted to win.
I didn’t hold it against him. And it didn’t bother me that he wanted it.
What bothered me were the other things he’d said.
You were raised to be a leader… and a killer.
Only when you need to be, of course. But Papa trained you to be a killer, and to be a leader of killers.
You’ve taken many lives, and ordered them to be taken – all for good reasons, I might add.
Alessandra is different. She is not from our world – which is wonderful. I treasure her innocence and her innate goodness. It makes her a better person than you and I could ever hope to be, and a joy to be around. A diamond in a pile of coal – a shining oasis in the desert.
But I fear that out of your love for her, and your desire for her love and acceptance, you are denying your essential nature – that you are a killer. It was what you were trained to do. It is what you are – and you are very, very good at it.
You never shied away from it before you met Alessandra… and I think the longer you try to deny that part of yourself, the harder it will be for you to lead the family going forward.
It was my gift to see into other people’s hearts.
Not that it was a perfect gift. Fausto was such a skilled liar that he had pulled a veil over my eyes – but I had always known something was off, and it had led me to distrust him. That was why I had offered to take his place in San Vittore, so that he couldn’t betray Papa.
Little did I know how deep my uncle’s treachery ran.
Instead of selling out my father to the cops, Fausto eventually killed him.
But I knew something was wrong because I could see, however imperfectly, into my uncle’s heart.
However, along with being a gift, my talent was also a curse.
It allowed me to know what Niccolo really wanted, deep down…
And that he fervently believed everything he had told me.
You were raised to be a leader… and a killer.
The longer you try to deny that part of yourself, the harder it will be for you to lead the family going forward.
What bothered me the most…
Was that I feared he was right.
And my wife would never,everunderstand.
Especially not with the complications she had been having recently.
I knew she was terrified about our baby –
And the fear would make her evenlesslikely to listen to what I had to say.
16
Alessandra
Before the doctor left for Florence, he asked me a question.
He leaned in close so no one else would hear. Only the kitchen staff were left in the kitchen, because Caterina hadn’t come back yet.
