“You made it so I didn’t have to be afraid ofhim, yes – but what about guys burning up the building I’m in? What about people showing up trying to killyou?!”
“…it’s not like that,” I said lamely, because I knew it wasexactlylike that.
“Say wedidget married. Say we had kids. I’m supposed to worry every day when you walk out the door if you’re going to come back?”
“Of course I’d come back – ”
“Not if you’redead.Not if somebodyshoots you.”
I winced and tried to argue my way out. “Soldiers’ wives are in the exact same situation. Cops’ wives, firemen’s wives – ”
“But you’re not a cop or a fireman,” she snapped.
“I’m a soldier,” I said, and I meant it.
“For the wrong people.”
“They’re my family.”
Emilia gave a single laugh of shock and disbelief. “They’re not yourfamily!I MET your family! Your REAL family!”
“The Rosolinis are just as much my real family as my brothers and sisters,” I said coldly.
Emilia laughed bitterly. “Would you say that if they weren’t paying you?”
“Yes. I would.”
“Would youstayif they weren’t paying you?”
I remembered so many things in that moment:
Lorenzo dying in the gravel.
Lars in the speed boat with us, firing the rocket launcher at the Russians.
Adriano diving in front of the church on San Michele, willing to take a bullet if that meant he could draw the sniper’s fire.
Massimo roaring like a madman and fighting his way into the bell tower so he could rescue Lucia.
“We fought side by side,” I said angrily. “Webledtogether.”
Emilia grabbed my arm. Now her voice was pleading.
“I’m not saying you didn’t. I know it means a lot to you – that it’s really important. But eventually, people stop being soldiers.They retire. They leave. If you really want to marry me, then quit your job. Let’s go somewhere and build a life together. We can get that quiet place out in the country and start a family.”
It sounded beautiful.
And I wanted it. Desperately.
There was just one problem.
“You don’t just get to walk away from the sort of thing I do,” I muttered.
“Then they’re not really your family, are they?” she asked sadly. “Not if they won’t let you leave.”
“I don’twantto leave, Emilia,” I said angrily. “And you shouldn’t be asking me to.”
“I’m not askingyou to leave them. I’m saying – ”
