“Beingpenetratedwould mean he was gay – or awoman.
“At least, that’s how his subconscious mind interpreted these things. And for someone like him, subconscious fears are what’s driving the bus.
“All I had to do was tell him I would make him live out his greatest fear: being penetrated. Being dominated.
“Even worse, making himlikeit.
“In reality, having an orgasm doesn’t necessarily mean you ‘liked’ the experience that led to it. But in his mind, it would be proof positive that he reallywasgay.
“Even worse, once I did it to him and made himlikeit, I threatened to reveal his shame – that he was no longer areal man– to all the people whose opinions he values.
“He was afraid of his family knowing, especially his father and other males…
“But what truly terrified him was if all the other violent, ‘real men’ in theCamorraknew it. If theysawhim being penetrated. If theysawhim having an orgasm. If theysawhim ‘being gay.’ Or, even worse in his mind – being a woman.
“His sense of self depends on what others think about him. On some level, he believes heiswhat others thinkabout him.
“And if they thought he was gay, well…
“They would laugh at him. They would scorn him. They would be disgusted by him. Worst of all, they would know he wasn’t a ‘real man.’
“It was the threat of shame – and the overwhelming terror of that shame – that broke him. He would do anything –anything– to avoid it. That’s why he talked.”
Throughout her speech, all of us stayed absolutely silent.
Uncomfortablysilent, you might say.
Once she finished her speech, she said, “Shouldn’t we inform Dario about what we learned?”
“Yes,” Niccolo said, the spell finally broken. “Yes, we should get going.”
Before we filed out of the office, Adriano leaned over to Roberto and whispered, “You’ll never have to remind me, bro – I am NEVER fuckin’ crossing your wife.”
86
Awhole fleet of Mercedes left the warehouse.
Besides the three cars full of foot soldiers who came along, I drove Adriano…
Niccolo rode by himself in the backseat of another car so he could work in silence…
Massimo drove the Bugatti…
And Roberto and Mei-ling had a chauffeured Mercedes all to themselves.
Niccolo had insisted that everyone split up into separate vehicles. “We can’t take the chance of riding in one car and everyone getting killed all at once.”
It was a grim thought… but after everything that had happened at the dress shop, he was probably right to plan for the worst.
That’s why he wasconsigliere,after all.
The drive took an hour. Adriano mostly kept silent, which was unusual for him.
The entire way, I worried about Emilia.
Not about her safety. Therewasno safer place in all of Tuscany than the Rosolinis’ estate.
No…
