“You okay?” Lorenzo asked as he wrapped his arms around me and nuzzled my neck. I sighed and leaned into his body, closing my eyes and basking in the warmth of his embrace.
“I’m fine, but I’m also afraid to leave and go back,” I confessed.
He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I get it. I hate to go back, too, but we can’t stay here forever, Bea. We have to getback to New York. Your brother and I have work to do, and you have an audition to prepare for,” he gently reminded me.
The audition. I hadn’t thought about it since we got to the resort. Actually, I hadn’t really thought about it since Romeo first told me that I was going to marry Lorenzo to stop my dad from hitching me to Arias.
“I know. But how are we going to go back and not act as if everything has changed? Like we haven’t been stuck in bed for the last three days?”
He chuckled. “That’s going to be the hardest part of all of this, Princess. I’ve had you now, and I won’t be able to put my hands on you. My balls will be blue by the end of the day, and I’ll end up jacking off to the smell of your body wash again.”
I turned in his arms, surprised. “My body wash?”
His laugh was self-deprecating. “I found out what body wash you use, and I bought several bottles to use whenever I’m close to breaking.”
I couldn’t help the smile that spread across my face, and I shook my head. “You didn’t.”
“I did.” He wrapped his arms around me. “That shit you buy is expensive, but I love the smell. Pears and lilacs.” He wasn’t lying. He knew the scent.
“How long have you been doing that?” I wrapped my arms around him and arched up into him.
“Too long. So trust me when I say I get it. I have no idea how we are supposed to pretend that I don’t want to rip your clothes off you the second I’m around you.” He leaned his forehead against mine. “We’ll find a way to be together while keeping it quiet. I may not be able to see you much because there will be no hiding it if I’m around you, but I’ll be checking in on you.”
I sighed and closed my eyes. “I hate this.” The whispered words were a confession. I wanted to tell him that I loved him, that I’ve always loved him, but I wasn’t ready yet. Telling himthat I hated being apart from him was the most I was able to say, even though confessing my feelings was on the tip of my tongue.
“I do too, Princess, but we have to keep it quiet for a little while. I will figure out a way for us to sneak around. I promise.” He kissed me gently, cupping my face in his hands. The promise sealed with the softness of his kiss.
I hugged him tightly, my body stirring to life and waking up to the needs that even when sated, never seemed to fully go away. “We need to go before we end up on the bed again,” I whispered against his lips.
“The bed. The couch. The chair. The dresser. The table. The bathroom.” He laughed, listing all the places we’d sated our lust and hunger for each other over the last few days.
“I think this suite knows our bodies as well as we do at this point. Thank God walls can’t talk because these walls would have a lot to say.” I giggled, and heat flared to life inside me. Last night, I fell asleep on top of him. My head on his chest, and my hips straddling his. His cock was spent but still buried inside me.
He groaned, knowing the way my thoughts were going. “Yeah, we definitely have to get out of here.” He kissed me hard, thrusting his tongue in my mouth to mate with mine. Quickly. Hungrily. When he broke the kiss, he stepped away and adjusted himself in his jeans.
The drive back to New York went too fast. We listened to music and talked as we held hands. We each ignored the fact that we were heading back toward home, where we would have to act like there was nothing new between us. Like all the angst and sparks over the years weren’t from unmet desire, but from dislike.
We were a few miles from the house when Lorenzo pulled into a gas station and parked by the pumps. He turned to me and took my left hand in his, looking down at the ring that he’d slid on my finger two days ago.
My heart lurched a little as he slid the bands off my finger. “Lorenzo,” I whispered his name, pain just about knocking me on my ass. If I weren’t sitting already, I would have fallen over from the punch to the gut I’d taken from this small act.
“I know, Princess,” he said gently. “The next time I slide this ring on your finger, it’s there for good. I promise.” He reached up and slid his thumb beneath my eye. I didn’t know I was crying until he removed the tears.
His words eased the pain. If it was there for good, then this wasn’t some fling or temporary to him. Part of the reason I was fighting this so badly was that I didn’t want to get any more attached to him than I already was before I’d kissed him. Slept with him. Married him. I was beyond attached at this point. I needed him with a desperation that pierced me to the soul.
I reached for his left hand, where I’d slid the ring into place when I said my vows to him. “I promise to stand beside you no matter what the next steps in our lives are,” I whispered the words I’d said when I pledged my life to him as I removed the ring from his finger. “I promise to trust you when I’m scared, and have faith in you when I feel like all hope is lost. Whether this ring is on your finger or not. You’re mine, as I am yours.”
He pulled me into his arms and held me tight as I sobbed into his shoulder. My heart was breaking, fracturing into a million little pieces. I wanted to burrow into his chest and never let him go. I clung to him and the safety I felt while in his arms.
“We are exposed right now, Bianca.” His voice was gruff, and I knew he wasn’t any less affected by the moment than I was. He squeezed me tight around the waist and breathed in deeply. “I will do everything I can to end this quickly, for both our sakes.”
I nodded, but didn’t say anything. There was too much to say, and putting the words out there right now would just make all of this so much harder than it already was.
With deep regret, we ended the embrace after a shared kiss. He reached into the glovebox and pulled out some tissues, handing them to me so I could wipe my face and clean up. It hurt so much, but I did what I had to do. He said he was going to keep his distance for a while, and I understood why. It would be torture being around him and not telling my sisters or Romeo that we were real. That I loved him and that he loved me. That we were together. My whole life was going to boil down to the sweetest of deceptions until Lorenzo could make sure it was safe for me and for us to be together.
***
“You and Lorenzo were arguing again?” Giana asked when she pulled back from hugging me, then sent a glare toward Lorenzo. I guess there was no hiding my bloodshot eyes and the fact that I had been crying.
