Cap would be so disappointed in me.
“I’m sorry, Nicholas,” I whispered, ashamed of getting to this point again, and being strong enough to go through with it. He worked so hard to get me better—and here I was, a step away from finally succumbing to my demons.
My foot moved forward, my eyes shutting as I braced myself for what was next, but before I took my final step, God decided to finally intervene.
Mew.
The soft sound of a kitten crying for help distracted me from moving forward another inch.
Mew.
I heard it again, this time coming from the inside of a thorny bush, a few feet down below me.
“Kitty,” I hollered out. “Here, kitty kitty.”
Another mew was mewled. And that racing heart I had, started rushing once again. Carefully, I lowered myself down onto the shelf below me, my heart pumping as the ground below me started to break apart.
“Shit!” I hollered, clutching the side of the cliff, doing my best to stay away from the edge. I had left Chase’s urn above, knowing that if I dropped it, my heart would crumble into a thousand tiny pieces.
Dropping down into a crouch, I peered into the bush, as two bright yellow eyes blinked back at me. “How’d you get way down here?”
“Mew,” the kitten cried.
A thorn pricked my hand as I reached in, scratching against my skin as I grasped onto the frightened little kitten and pulled it from out of the bush. Blood trickled down my arm, but I didn’t care, my only thought was to save the little critter from uncertain death.
Ironic?Yes.
Necessary?Absolutely.
The little black fluff ball purred in my arms as I brought the precious tiny animal up to my chest and started cradling it. It was so soft—so loving. Its big yellow eyes softened my heart, and I found myself clutching it tightly as relieved tears fell down my cheeks in rivers.
“Oh my god. How did you get down here?”
I looked above my head, realizing I had no idea how to get back up, either.
“Crap, we’re stuck down here, I think.”
The kitten blinked up at me, meowing when I stared deeply into its eyes. A rustling from inside the bush caught my attention, and another kitten appeared, this one as white as snow.
“Oh, wow! Two! There’s two of you.”
The white kitten started purring at my ankles, then dug its claws in, climbing up my legs until it was nestled next to its sibling in my arms.
My heart was swooning.
Carefully, I carried the two kittens over to the bush, inspecting it for more fluff, only to have my stomach turn when I saw the bodies of two other kittens and a momma cat lying on the cliff below.
“Oh no,” I cried, tears pricking my eyes. “They’re gone. I’m so sorry.” They’d lost not only their momma, but their siblings too. I knew what that felt like—to lose everything you ever loved in one harrowing moment. These poor little souls didn’t stand a chance out here by themselves. They needed someone to save them—someone like me.
The two kittens looked up at me with hope in their eyes, and that part of me that was ready to end it all moments ago, disappeared, replaced with a renewed strength to keep going—to help these kittens find a “furever” home.
They purred like synchronized swimmers, kneading at each other as they yawned and curled around their fluffy bodies.
Petting their soft heads, I assured them, “I’m going to get you guys out of here.” Then I looked above me and sighed. “Somehow.”
It seemed like hours went by as I sat on the edge of that cliff, the dangerous ocean waters surging below me as the tide moved in and the sun started to set off in the distance. It was a beautiful sight, one that I would enjoy better from up above. The kittens never left my arms, both of them sleeping peacefully as my heart raced with worry.
We’ll probably die out here.
