“What do you know?” I snapped, jumping up from my seat. “If God had a purpose for me, don’t you think I would’ve seen it by now?”
“Maybe. Or maybe he has yet to reveal his plan. He brought you and Kane together for a reason.”
“Yeah, to confuse the shit out of me and make me feel guilty! How is that fair? I’m slowly forgetting my husband and enjoying things I shouldn’t all because you say God has a purpose for me. It’s bullshit! Complete and utter bullshit!”
“Maybe so, Ruby. But you shouldn’t feel guilty for moving on. Your husband would’ve wanted you to keep going. To find love again, or at least be open to it. I see the way Kane and you look at each other. There’s something there. Something you don’t quite believe in. If God didn’t want you to be happy, he wouldn’t have brought Kane to your doorstep. Fate wouldn’t have intervened.”
“Well, maybe I didn’t want an intervention!” I screamed. “It hurts the longer I live without him! The pain I feel is fucking crippling me. I’m fucking dying inside, every part of me feels guilty and ashamed of still being here. I don’t want to exist like this anymore. I just want to stop feeling so fucking damaged.”
“Then open your heart, Ruby. Let Kane help you get through this,” he begged, standing up from the table as my tears started to fall.
“Just stay the fuck away from me, okay? I don’t need you or your fucking religion right now. I just need to feel Chase! I just need to feel something other than this eternal heartbreak!”
“Ruby, please calm down. Let’s talk through this, let me help you find your faith again.”
“Faith? What makes you think I ever had any? We’re done talking, Knight. We’ve already talked everything out of me. I can’t be here anymore. I just need space. Leave me alone and don’t follow me.”
Before Knight could say anything else to piss me off, I stomped away, heading straight for the gates that led out of the compound.
He shouted after me, “He loves you even though you don’t think he’s there, Ruby. Once you see past this veil of grief, you’ll feel him holding you, urging you to keep going. He believes in you! Even when you don’t believe in yourself.”
“Save your God speech for someone that actually gives a fuck, Knight. Your religious shrinking will never work on a hapless soul like mine. I’m as good as dead.”
“Ruby, wait!” he called out after me.
But it was too late. The damage was done. Ever since the concert I could feel myself spiraling, and this just made it worse. I was on a downward spiral, one that there was no getting off of. It was like I was stuck on a carousel that never stops spinning, just rotating and rotating as it slowly gets sucked down an eternal black hole.
Chapter Twenty-Two
“I haven’t seen you smile like this in a very long time, Boyd.”
Leo was grinning like crazy as Nala licked his entire face. A few of the Fallen Stars came over, petting the pretty pup as she gave love to Leo—love he desperately needed right now.
“It’s hard not to smile when the prettiest girl in the room is giving you attention,” he said, continuously petting Nala’s sleek tan and black fur. “Where’s Ruby?”
“Outside talking to Knight. I’m hoping he can help her work through her shit.”
Leo laughed, practically scoffing. “Good luck with that. If she’s anything like me, talking will just make everything worse.”
Castor and Pollux picked that moment to come over, both of them standing in the exact same pose, crossed arms, feet slightly apart, and standing at an angle.
“Not you two,” Leo grumped. “I’m not in the mood for whatever twin thing you got going on.”
“We have a joke for you, Leo,” Castor said with a smile.
“It’s pretty funny,” Pollux added. “You’ll like it.”
“Fine,” he said in annoyance. “What is this stupid joke?”
Both twins shared a look.
“Why are lions so popular around Christmas time?”
His mouth set in a sneer. “Why?”
“Because they have Sandy Claws. Get it! Sandy Claws like Santa Claus.” Castor slapped his knee. “Oh, I got another one, too. What do you call a lion wearing a hat, Pollux?”
“I don’t know, Brother. What do you call a lion wearing a hat?”
