Why was he letting this happen? Shouldn’t he be stepping in to help him?
“My wife never forgave me for what happened. Turns out, she had been cheating on me for quite some time before that, but I never had a clue, not until after Greg’s funeral. The other man showed up to console her.” He gave me a pained look. “The other man was my half-brother.”
“Jesus,” I whispered. “I can’t even imagine…”
“It’s okay,” he said with a half-hearted smile. “I’ve come to terms with that part of it. It’s the guilt over Greg’s death that I can’t seem to overcome. My ex-wife called me a miserable human being, who thought more about work than he did his own family. She said that’s why she found solace in my brother’s arms. At least he paid attention to her. She blames me for our son’s death. She’s right to do so. I blame myself as well.”
“I’m so sorry.”
The side of his mouth slightly moved, but didn’t form an actual smile. “Greg would’ve loved fishing,” he mumbled. “Sometimes, I come out here, and I envision him on the banks of the river, that smile of his infectiously spreading across his face as his rod makes that first tug. I can hear his laughter in my head, and have full conversations with him. Like his ghost is here with me. But I couldn’t hear him yesterday, or the day before. His laughter seems to be dying. It's why I called Nicholas. The silence is maddening. I can’t forget him, if I do, then what happens? But if I had pulled that trigger…”
“Your son wouldn’t have been happy,” I whispered, hoping it would somehow help. I felt hypocritical for saying it, knowing I had my own dark thoughts when it came to living or dying.
“I know,” he said, his tears coating his hands. “And that’s what makes this even worse. It’s why I called Nicholas. Even though I couldn’t hear my son’s voice anymore, I still felt him beside me, asking me to keep going. But it’s so hard. So fucking hard.” His hands clenched, and he looked up at the sky. “I just don’t understand why he was taken from me. Why me?”
God, I felt his words deep in my soul. It’s the exact same thing I thought to myself every day since Chase’s passing.
“I don’t know,” I whispered. “But maybe there’s some kind of bigger plan for you? A reason that your son wants you to keep going?”
Eyes the color of a new fawn’s coat, blinked blankly at me, his face contorting with confusion. “But what could that be?”
My hand got violently tugged forward, and I realized that my line was caught on something.
“Oh gosh, I think I caught something.”
The despair and sadness instantly disappeared as Darrius shot up to his feet, helping me hold the pole steady as he instructed me on how to handle the fishing pole.
“Tuck the pole in here. Then slowly reel in the line while jerking it back and forth every few seconds.”
“Oh god, it’s so heavy.”
Darrius gave me an encouraging smile. “I think you caught a fish!” he said with delight, tears still staining his cheeks.
“A fish? Really?”
He nodded. “You’re doing great, Ruby. Now just keep reeling in the line, just like that. You got this!”
There was a definite change in his demeanor. Darrius went from a grieving father, to an encouraging teacher withinseconds, guiding me through everything as I reeled in my first fish. When the fish broke the surface, both him and Cap cheered.
“It’s huge, Ruby! Keep going,” Darrius shouted. “Cap, did you see the size of this thing?”
Cap came racing over, laying his pole on the banks. “I see it, man. Looks like the biggest fish we’ve ever caught here.”
It was getting harder and harder to hold the pole the closer the fish got to the bank. It was definitely fighting me, and I felt helpless in a way. Then Cap’s strong arms encircled me, helping me hold the pole as I finished reeling in my fish.
“You’re doing great, Ruby,” he whispered in my ear.
With his help, Cap and I pulled the fish up onto the riverbank, the silver body flopping and flailing around.
“I caught a fish!” I exclaimed in delight, almost laughing at how happy both of the men were with me.
“It’s a monster!” Darrius yelled. Grabbing the end of the line, he brought the fish up, holding it with his hands. “It’s a least fourteen inches! It’s huge. Massive!”
He unhooked the fish from the line and held it up to me. “Let’s take a picture of you with it.”
“You want me to touch it?”
He laughed. “Absolutely! It’s your first catch. We need to remember this moment.”
