“And that’s where we start,” I whispered, keeping my voice low and calm.
Her gaze swept over me, dropping to our interlocked hands sitting between us. “What do you mean?”
I couldn’t help myself, I cupped her cheek, getting lost in that vast sea of blue and finding a strange comfort within it. My heart sped wildly beneath my shirt, almost like it was drumming a strange romantic rhythm.
“Letting go of the remorse and grief you’re still holding on to. Once you let go of that, Ruby, you can start to live again.”
She looked towards the floor, eyes focusing on a frayed strand of carpet. “I don’t think I can, Nicholas.” I liked how my name fell off her lips, like the word was made up just for her to say. “You saw me in that bathroom. I’m fragile and weak.You can’t even leave me alone in my own house without me spiraling.”
My finger gently brushed over the soft curve of her jaw, focusing her eyes back on me.
“That’s why, before we do anything else, I’m going to have to Ruby-proof your house.”
The corners of her mouth slightly lifted, and for the first time since we met, a brief light danced in her eyes.
“Ruby-proof, huh?”
I nodded, removing my hand because if I kept it there any longer, I’d give in to all the temptation that came with being so close to her.
“Yeah, in order for us to move forward, I have to remove anything that you could use to hurt yourself.” When she didn’t say anything, I continued, “We’ll start with that pink razor,” I said, chuckling a bit. “Even though it didn’t get the job done. it could still pose a potential risk for self-harm.”
She sighed, staring off like she’d rather be anywhere but with me.
“Then I’ll remove any chemicals, pills, or anything that could be consumed and considered deadly.”
“Might as well get rid of the bananas, too. I hear you can choke on them,” she mocked, rolling her eyes.
That feisty woman was back, and I loved seeing her return, no matter how brief the cameo was.
“Eventually, we’re going to have to remove the items that won’t let you move on. It’s okay to keep photos and stuff to remember him by, but I smelled the cologne when I walked into the bathroom. That’s something triggering–something that probably led to the razor incident.”
She frowned.
“Incident. Is that what I am? A fucking incident?”
I shook my head. Those big blue orbs were raging like a tumultuous sea, and I loved seeing that rage build inside of her—it showed me she wasn’t dead yet, that there was still life within her.
“No, Ruby. That episode was an incident. Honestly, I don’t have words to describe what you are, all I can say is that you’re special.”
She didn’t seem convinced, pulling away from me for the first time. I could already feel the harsh coldness of her absence and I wasn’t sure why it unnerved me so much. “You say that now, but eventually you’ll realize what a fucking lost cause I am.”
“If that were true, I wouldn’t be here, Ruby. The only thing lost about you is your heart, and I’m determined to put that back together piece by broken piece. By the end of the month all that grief keeping you down will melt away, and you’ll hopefully be able to live and exist in a world without your husband.”
Her brow scrunched as her lips turned into a scowl. “If that’s the world you’re expecting me to live in, Nicholas, you can walk out that fucking door right now. Because this world isn’t worth living in without Chase by my side. God played a sick and cruel fucking game when he stole my husband away from me, and now I’m nothing but bits and pieces of vacant space trying to find him again.”
“I don’t believe that, Ruby.” It was more of a challenge than a statement because I knew she was so much more than vacant space in this world. There was a light shining down on her that she would see if she only opened her eyes and embraced it.
“Well, it’s true. When my husband’s heart stopped beating, so did mine. I lost my will to live that day, and I don’t think I’ll ever know what happiness is like again, not unless he miraculously comes back to life and our hearts start beating together once more.”
Ruby was going to prove to be more of a challenge than I expected, but nevertheless, I was determined to remove that chip on her shoulder and smash it to smithereens.
“Well, we both know I can’t bring your husband back, but I can show you that life is still worth living as long as you’re open to it and ready to shed your grief. Why don’t we go out into the living room and get our pizza before it gets cold? After we eat, I’ll do a brief sweep of the house and try to gather the things I think may prove to be a threat.”
She glared at me.
“I know you don’t want this, and you aren’t even close to ready, but I have one month to give it a try. I know that your husband wouldn’t want you to be suffering like this. He’d want you to live, Ruby. He’d want you to go on without him.”
She shot up from the bed, trying to hide her tears as she marched past me with a vigorous defiance. “I’m not talking about this anymore, Nicholas. Consider this conversation done.”
