I hung my head in shame as I dredged up the memories I’d done my best to snuff out and lock away over the years.
“Mr. Kennedy had a fifteen-year-old son named Nathan. Nathan was not a nice kid, and he often picked on the littler kids in the home, bullying them out of jealousy or something. When I arrived, Nathan chose me out of everyone to be his personal punching bag. He used to beat me senseless some nights, and I didn’t find out until the last two weeks I was there why. You see, Nathan was attracted to boys, but he didn’t want his father to know. So, he beat me up because he was trying to fight his growing attraction for me.”
“Oh no,” she said, covering her mouth. “Tell me he didn’t…”
I shook my head. “I wish I could. This next part is hard, so if you don’t want me to tell you it, I won’t.”
“If it helps you release some of this stuff you’re holding in, then I’ll listen, no matter how hard it may be to hear.”
Nodding my head, I continued, thankful that she was there to listen and wasn’t looking at me like I was a monster or tainted goods. “One night, after I had just taken a shower, I found that my clothes were missing from the bathroom. I had to walk down the hall in just a towel, and right before I would’ve reached my room, Nathan grabbed me, covering my mouth with his hand as he pulled me into his room. I wish I could say I forgot what happened next, but I remember every bit of it. The duct tape he placed on my mouth, my muffled screams as I tried to fight him off, but lost the battle quickly. I remember the pain too, the way he held me down and took from me what he had been secretly wanting since the day I arrived. I had hoped it would be the end of it, but it wasn’t, because after Nathan had his taste, he wanted more from me, using and abusing me every night until my sister and I were pulled from the home and saved by our social worker. I’ll never forget that house because it changed my life forever.”
Tears streamed down Sienna’s face, and she surprised me by giving me a sweet and tender kiss. “I’m so sorry that happened to you, Dillon. No kid should have to endure that kind of torture.”
“I’ve never been with a woman, Sienna. I’ve never been close to anyone, really. Not like that. Not till I met you. You’re the first person who I’ve met that I actually feel like opening up to, and that means everything to me.”
She nestled against my shoulder, sighing a little after she got comfortable.
“I feel close to you too, Dillon. I just wish I wasn’t so fucked up in the head.”
“We’re all fucked up in some aspect, Sienna. Yeah, some horrible shit happened to me in the past, but that’s not what I’m beating myself up for right now—it’s not why I feel so goddamn guilty. What happened in the Kennedy house made me stronger and made me want to fight. What’s killing me inside are my sins, ones that only make me weaker the longer I keep them a secret.”
“What could you have done that was so bad, Dillon? I don’t think there’s a single thing you could say that would make me think bad of you.”
I sighed, twiddling my thumbs nervously. “When I turned eighteen, I left the boys’ home in Austin and came back to Rising Star because that was the last place I saw my sister Joey. After a little tracking down, I found her taking up residence with the Hell’s Artillery MC as a sweet butt.”
“Oh no…” Sienna cried. “That’s not good.”
“I was determined to get my sister out of their hands, so I went looking for her, only to have them capture me and force me to watch as they did things to my sister no brother should ever see. I thought they were going to kill me until one of the women there suggested I give them something in return, something they couldn’t turn down. That’s when I overheard them talking about something they wanted, and I knew I could get it for them.” I took a deep breath, shooting a sideways glance at her. “I’m sure you’ve heard of Scorpio’s dad’s bike, right?”
“Yeah?” she asked hesitantly. “It got stolen. That’s about all I know.”
I nodded my head in agreement. “Yeah, that’s what I know too… I know because I was the one who stole it for the Artillery, Sienna. I slipped into their rally and stole it when all hell broke loose with the Artillery.”
“Oh no. Dillon, please tell me that’s not true.”
“It is. And it gets worse because I think they’re directly responsible for the Sheriff’s death, only I have no way to prove it. I just know that when I took the bike to them that they turned me away, beating me senseless after refusing to let my sister go like they promised. Now they have my sister, Scorpio’s bike, and all the power in the world, and I’m over here trying to figure out how to come clean without getting myself killed in the process.”
“You can’t tell them, Dillon. They’ll kick you out if you do.”
“I know, Sienna, but I can’t keep this kind of secret away from them. They’ve been good to me, especially Scorpio. He deserves more than a lie; he deserves the truth.”
She squeezed me tighter. “Then we have to figure out some way to right the wrong you committed, like you said.”
“I know… and the only way I can do that is by getting the bike back, but in order to get it back, I have to put Joey in danger.”
“Shit, that doesn’t sound good.”
“If the Artillery will beat the shit out of me for trying to save my sister, there’s no telling what they’ll do to Joey if they find out she’s fed me information. If I do this, I have to be careful, and I have to pray that the Celestial Sons will help me, even though I betrayed them.”
She sucked in a breath and frowned. “I don’t know, Dillon. They’re pretty forgiving people, but this… this is big.”
“I know.”
She pressed her lips against my cheek right before laying her head on my shoulder. “Well, I’ll be here for you every step of the way, Dillon. If you think telling them is the right thing to do, then do it. Just make sure you have some sort of game plan before you do.”
My only game plan could get both me and my sister killed, and that was one gamble I wasn’t sure I was ready to make.
“I know, and you’re right. It’s just hard trying to figure out what the best action to take in this situation is.”
