Ghost cackled.Crunch. Crunch.“Probably drove you nuts because Mr. Control Freak had no idea what he was doing or what happened. By the time you got to the hospital, you were probably frothing at the mouth with all the scenarios you’d dreamed up.”
“Getting shot would be better than this conversation,” I said, reaching for the door handle.
Ghost’s hand slammed onto my arm, stopping me. “Guys like us need a little softness,” he said, all trace of humor gone. “We’ve been through some shit. Done even more. We’re hard because life made us that way and dangerous because we gotta be. Is it really any wonder we’d be drawn to something—someone—that offered a little reprieve? Who is a rare reminder there is still some beauty left in life, that not everyone and everything are inherently bad.”
“I thought that didn’t exist anymore,” I confided.
“Yeah, I know. Who could blame you? That shit went extinct a long time ago where we’re from. But you never poke your head out long enough to realize it’s still there.”
“And you have?”
He shrugged. “Sometimes I need a reminder of why I do what I do.”
That hit me hard, an instant gut-check I didn’t like. Because I didn’t do what I did out of some sense of protecting the innocent or making the world better. It started out that way but quickly and definitively twisted into something angry and vengeful.
“That’s where we’re different,” I said.
Ghost was silent a moment. Then, “Nahhh.”Crunch. Crunch. “You might tell yourself otherwise, but deep down, you’re a protector just like me.”
A protector?Was that what he thought? More like a killer. “I belong in jail.”
“If you were in jail, the streets would be a far more dangerous place.”
The fucked-up thing was he was right. It was the reason I was not in jail. Why I sometimes had carte blanche to do my worst. Because sometimes to kill a monster, you had to be one.
“He told me he trusts me,” I confessed like it was some mortal sin.
I didn’t want to be Haz’s sin.
But I was, wasn’t I?
Ghost hummed. “So tell him the truth.”
My eyebrow must have been doing that thing again because Ghost’s did the same. “You mean after nearly choking me out over questioning his loyalty, you think he won’t accept it?”
“I’m a hitman.”
“Yeah, and he’s a twink with mismatched eyes, anxiety, and more innocence than he has any business having. But that ain’t all he is. He got away from three of Grimaldi’s men. He lives in the worst part of town. He’s soft, but he ain’t weak. He can handle it.”
Hadn’t Hazard pretty much said the same? My lips twisted derisively. “A twink.”
“Not surprised you went down. The bigger they are, the harder they fall.”
“Fuck off.”
He laughed.Crunch. Crunch.
“Jesus. How big is that bag?” I snapped.
The bag crinkled when he balled it up and shoved it in the cup holder. My eyelid twitched at the mess. Before I could tell him he was a pig, he slapped me on the shoulder.
“Follow me and try not to give us away,” he said, slipping out of the car and blending into the shadows so well I’d have thought I was alone if he hadn’t just been annoying the ever-loving shit out of me.
Pulling the black ball cap low over my head, I made sure the gun at the small of my back was there and then started down the block. The black tactical pants I wore were functional but casual enough that they didn’t scream I was up to no good. Over the pants, I wore a black T-shirt with no sleeves and a black blazer, unbuttoned.
I kept my posture relaxed, pace unhurried as I approached the building. I didn’t look around for Ghost or indicate I wasn’t alone. I also didn’t bother trying to be untraceable like him because any attempt would have just drawn attention. Acting like I was supposed to be there and not doing anything wrong was the best cover.
As I approached the front of the building, there was a low, brief whistle, and I pivoted away from the front entrance and around the side of the building. Once there, I turned again so I was at the back. A service door was propped open, and I slipped inside, closing it quietly behind me.
