The intensity of his orgasm drilled through his stare and into mine, rearranging the circuits in my brain. His low and drawn-out moan filled the room while the warm rush of his release filled me. He shuddered and shook, slapping both hands on the mattress to keep his quivering weight from crushing me. Not once did he look away, even when his body sagged and the black in his eyes faded back to brilliant blue.
“I want everything. Please give it to me.” His voice was hoarse with rare vulnerability.
My heart levitated, turning itself inside out. He could ask anything of me in that moment, and it would never occur to me to refuse.
“Pretty sure you just took it,” I mused, still out of breath.
A serious note came over his face, the stoic man I was well acquainted with coming back to the surface. “It means nothing unless you give it.”
Is that why he wanted me to use my safe word? As a way of reminding me of my power, of letting me know I was in control.
“I trust you,” I whispered. “This will not change.”
CHAPTER
EIGHTEEN
Kieran
I prided myself on my control. My ability to keep a level head in any situation.
So I had to ask myself:What in the ever-loving fuck was that?
Oh, you know, just mewhipping out my dick like some primal beast in heat andtakinghim in a single thrust.In the middle of a conversation, no less.
Never in my entire life had I ever behaved so irrationally. It was abhorrent. I needed to apologize. Maybe grovel.
No groveling.
At the very least, swear it would never happen again.
“I trust you. This will not change.”
The bottom fell out of my stomach, and I searched his eyes for a modicum of doubt, an ounce of insincerity, or even a bold lie told out of fear.
I came up empty. Those green and blue irises were just as open and innocent as the first time he laid them on me. A familiar twinge of anger coiled inside me, whispering that there was no way this was real… that Haz was real. He couldn’t possibly look at me like this, saythat, after how I’d just behaved.
It was an impossibility. He couldn’t trust me.Unless he’s stupid.
My entire body recoiled from the vile insult. Haz was a lot of things, and maybe when I first met him, I might have thought him stupid. But now? I knew he wasn’t.
He’d kept himself alive his entire life. Managed to escape from not one butthreemen trying to murder him. Hell, he’d even tried to fight them off.I’m going to have to lecture him about that later.That cannot happen again.
I couldn’t understand his innocence. Hell, I’d just robbed him of some.
But there he was, looking up at me with wide, painfully honest eyes and the word trust coating his tongue.
I pulled out of his body, denying the temptation to push back in. My pants were open, not even pushed all the way down, and sticky. My shirt stuck to me in places it was splattered with his release, and sweat dampened my shoulder blades.
Haz sprawled beneath me, shirt splashed with orange juice, stained with cum, and bunched around his waist. His thighs glistened with lube, and his dick lay soft against him, foreskin concealing his glans.
I wanted his trust.
I did not deserve it.
“I need to apologize.” I started, shifting to the side, not even bothering to fix my clothes.
Who even am I?
