‘Sie, Sie,’ Luc whispers, his body coming to a stop. ‘I need a second. I won’t be able to hold off.’
‘Let me see you unravel,’ I request, running my hand through his curls.
He grunts, thrusting faster, harder, in exactly the way I need him to. The pleasure rolls over my body, more and more overwhelming until it explodes into shades of purple behind my eyelids.
He relaxes on top of me, running his hand through hishair and hiding the smile spreading across his face with the back of his hand, the smile which is present in his eyes.
By the time I’ve been to the toilet, brushed my teeth and taken my make-up off, Luc has removed the condom and put it back in its foil wrapper, enveloping it in a tissue from the vanity.
Normally at this point, I would lay as far as I could to the edge of the bed and wait for the person to leave. If I was at theirs, I would probably leave before they woke up. But, right now, looking at Luc lying in that hotel bed, still no clothes on, a light sheet draped over his body and one arm lying straight across the bed towards my pillow, makes me want to jump into that space. To take up space in his arms, not on the precipices. Against everything I thought I knew about myself.
I climb back into bed beside him, and he curls himself around me like a snap band. He drapes the sheet over me too, and I fall asleep with the sound of his breathing in my ear.
Sienna Martin best dressed at the PAAs, I’m calling it
If Sienna and Luc ever break up… I’ll stop believing in love I’m telling you
Does anyone not think it’s weird that we never see her alone anymore?
I think it’s weirder she went to NYC when her brother just had an operation, must be a pretty scary time for the family
I can’t wait for her LOVE album, girlie is going to scream about how much she loves him
CHAPTER 22
FREEFALLING
TRACK 13 [BONUS] | YOUR EMAIL DIDN’T FIND ME WELL
‘Freefalling’ was a very late edition to ‘Your Email Didn’t Find Me Well’. It wasn’t released until months after the initial album and is one of those songs which started as one thing and ended as something completely different. But that’s just what happens when you explore how you’re feeling through music.
I’ve bookedus into one of the most beautiful Tuscan villas I’ve ever seen. We’re in the middle of nowhere, a tiny town where I can act like a normal person. A few days off for both of us. No one will know where we are or what we’re doing, other than the entire Internet when the troll who tracks my private jet lets them know. Kareem has opted to stay in Florence with his family, but he’s not far away and available whenever we need the car to go anywhere.
I’d be happy to just relax in the villa, swim in our pool, and read my book for the entire weekend.
A small three-bed with a pool, a living room and a little kitchen. Big enough for me and Luc… and Dennis.
Luc’s birthday is tomorrow, and no one mentioned it before I surprised Luc on the plane whenwe were landing not-in-London. He didn’t even mention the big day when we started talking about New York, and I get it because I wouldn’t either. I never celebrate my birthday with any sort of party. I’ll usually have dinner with Jess or Rory. Very rarely Mauve if I can help it. And this year isn’t an important birthday for Luc: he’s either thirty-two or thirty-three. I can’t remember how old I am half the time, let alone other people. He doesn’t seem that fussed about his birthday. He’s only told me what date it is once, but it’s been a marker of the number of years that have passed since our first break-up.
Another August twenty-fourth, another day of watching him celebrate with a gorgeous birthday meal and his gorgeous fiancée. An awkward photo of him at a dinner table in a dimly lit restaurant, smiling with a big glass of Prosecco, a big portion of food in front of him, reposted to his Instagram story from hers. Never posted directly to his.
I used to say happy birthday every year, while we were adjacent to being semi-friends, before he moved on with Rose and things became too difficult and complicated. August twenty-fourth started to pass like it was any other day.
‘What bedroom are you going to take, Luc?’ Dennis asks.
‘I’ll happily take the smallest one, Dennis,’ Luc says, and I know that he knows he won’t be sleeping in it.
Dennis dumps his bag in the middle-sized room and shuts the door behind him.
I weave my fingers through Luc’s. ‘I didn’t want to be excessive and rent the biggest place in Tuscany,’ I tell him. ‘I feared that would go against my quest to act normal.’
‘It’s still bigger than we need it,’ Luc whispers, a grin tugging at his lips. ‘It’s three bedrooms.’
‘Well, I thought we’d be sleeping in separate bedrooms when I booked it.’
That’s all the confirmation he needs.
‘We’re going home in three days,’ I say. ‘That’s all I could get off.’ Dennis unzips his suitcase in his room. ‘I thoughttoday we could relax around here, and then I have a surprise activity booked tomorrow.’
