‘That makes sense.’ I look at the ceiling and try to push my tears back into my eyes. ‘I’m sorry for jumping down your throat when I found out you didn’t tell them.’
‘No, I should have told you my plan.’
‘I understand why you didn’t.’
‘My therapist says that I’ve always struggled to express my emotions because I grew up with a dad who is completely inept at expressing his. I never want to make that mistake with you, but you’re going to need to be patient with me.’
Luc leads me back to the sofa and throws the rest of his glass of wine down his throat. ‘Another glass?’ he offers, taking the wine out of the bucket.
Does anyone else wonder what they do when we’re not taking pics of them?
You’re so right. I can’t imagine them ordering a takeaway and staying at home
They just want to show off how in love they are! Feeling that way about someone is rare
They’re just in the honeymoon phase, fucking chillout jesus christ
Do u not realise how weird it is how obsessed with them u are?
CHAPTER 17
DARK DAYLIGHT
TRACK TBC | ODES AND BALLADS
'Dark Daylight’ is a song I wrote after the whole Benji fiasco, a song which chronicles someone who can’t do anything right, no matter how hard they try. Which sums up pretty much my entire fucking existence at the minute.
Colin-From-The-Label ison a Zoom call on Jess’s laptop on one end of the breakfast bar while Jess, Mimi and I perch on stools at the other end. Mine and Mimi’s laptops are both open to see ticket sales.
I’m worried about my voice with how long the tour is, but I’ll have to find a way to get through it. The vocal therapist my doctor recommended is amazing, and she is trying her best to find a way for me to still do the shows. She’s taken a look at the setlist and has advised where I should lip sync to avoid damaging my voice with doing high notes repeatedly, night after night.
The tickets allocated for pre-sale sold out in less than ten minutes yesterday, and now we’ll find out if there’s wider interest in the tour, other than those who followme so closely that they pre-ordered the album or signed up for my newsletter.
We have four minutes until the sale begins and the ticket selling website has already crashed. A bad sign for fans, a good sign for me.
The thumping in my heart gets faster, and I’m trending on social media with people saying how nervous they are to ‘fight the war’ to ‘win’ tickets to my concerts. People are saying they’ve taken a morning off work so they can dedicate all their brain space to it. Another minute passes and now that it’s fifty-seven minutes past the hour, we’re nearly there.
My phone buzzes in my hand and Luc’s name flashes on the screen.
LUC
Good luck today, you’ll sell out in the blink of an eye
I react to it with a heart and then put my phone face down on the table. I haven’t seen Luc since we went to Wembley last weekend. But next week we’re flying to New York for the PAAs, and I’ve planned a nice surprise for his birthday two days later.
Until then, I’m in tour rehearsals.
Day in, day out.
Two minutes until tickets.
‘How would you feel about potentially adding more dates?’ Colin asks from the other side of the table.
Jess and I look at each other. The idea of extending… Of performing more shows for longer. The schedule is gruelling as it is. Not to mention dangerous for my voice. Rehearsals are exhausting me already.
I know I’ll find a way through it, but right now the idea of the tour fills me with dread. There must be a way to make music without everything that comes with it.
‘I don’t think that’s a good idea,’ Jess says.
