I’m smiling at a camera in the front row. The photographer is young, younger than me, and wears her smile with every muscle in her face. She has bright scarlet hair and green glasses in a slight cat-eye shape. She isn’t holding a huge professional camera bigger than her head, but instead her iPhone. One of the new ones with three cameras on the back.
Dennis follows me when I walk towards her, and the shouts get louder. There’s a worn picture in the back of her clear phone case. Her, or someone who looks like her, with a baby in their arms. I wonder if it’s of her and her child, or whether the child is her.
‘Hi, Sienna,’ she smiles. ‘How are you?’
I flinch. How am I? ‘I’m well thank you, you? What’s your name?’
‘Caoimhe.’ She’s still smiling. ‘Would I be able to ask you a question?’
I get ready for another question about Luc, whose presence I can sense a few steps behind me. ‘Of course,’ I reply.
‘If you could give any advice to your younger self, what would it be?’
I try to keep the surprise off my face. ‘Great question… I guess I’d tell myself to get more comfortable more quickly with not pleasing everyone.’
Caoimhe nods along, checking the screen on her iPhone.
‘I wasted so much of my younger years getting bogged down with negative reviews or criticism, when really there were so many people who loved what I was doing. So why was I getting so worked up by the negativity? Wasting my time trying to perfect a new sound which still wouldn’t please everyone?’
‘I think we, as women in society, all waste far too much time doing this,’ Caoimhe says.
I nod furiously. ‘Absolutely. We don’t see men bending themselves to fit in society’s impossibly tiny box.’
‘I was going to ask you for the one thing you would change for women in the entertainment industry, is that it?’
‘I would say so.’
Caoimhe looks at Dennis. ‘Can I have one more question?’
I don’t wait to see Dennis’s reaction. ‘Of course you can.’
‘Do you like to read, and if so, what are you reading at the moment?’
‘I love to read,’ I smile. ‘I don’t read enough while I’m writing songs because I just get so completely and utterly lost in the process and can’t think of anything else for weeks. But I mostly read love stories.’
‘Me too!’ Caoimhe agrees, clapping her hand to her chest. ‘I’d really love to hear more about your favourites, but I think you’re being moved along.’
‘It was lovely to meet you, Caoimhe.’
Dennis’s hand is on my shoulder, getting ready to move me down the line.
‘Give her Mimi’s card,’ I tell him. ‘Let’s set up a proper chat.’
Caoimhe’s cheeks flush crimson. ‘I really appreciate that. Thank you, Sienna.’
I take her hand between both of mine and squeeze it gently. ‘Thank you for not asking me about men.’ And then I’m brushed away from her and into the venue.
There are seemingly hundreds of people inside the cinema, the whole foyer decked out in the movie’s memorabilia. All the staff are wearing suits and sunglasses, very similar to the villains in the movie, and the carpet is now green, as though we are walking through a field on set.
‘What the hell was that?’ I whisper at Luc, the smile still fixed on my face.
Luc narrows his eyes and pulls me into a quiet corner, his hand still in mine. I’m overstimulated and the contact of his skin on mine is sending me into overdrive. There’s no experience like a red carpet. Putting myself on display to be shouted at and ordered around. The questions and how everyone speaks over each other muffling voices down until you can’t hear any of the words, so it’s just shouts, screams, cries for attention.
‘The kiss,’ I hiss-whisper. ‘We said no PDA.’
‘I’m so– We said we didn’t have to be all over each other,’ he points out. ‘I di– I thought that left room for– I thought I was doing what we needed to convince people about us. ButI’m really sorry that I broke your boundaries– complete misunderstanding.’
I frown but ultimately nod. ‘Makes sense. Fine.’
