And then, suddenly, she could.
The world rushed back in on her like a tidal wave as Aspen’s lips pressed against hers. The kiss was chaste and sweet, but it was most definitely a kiss, and she whimpered as she melted into the connection, her lips parting instinctively to search for more of that warmth. That comfort. That gentle, oh so tender, assurance that she wasn’t alone. Tears spilled down her cheeks as the first brush of Aspen’s tongue against her own rang through her like a bell, banishing the ghosts that’d been tormenting her in a resounding, powerful wave. Her pulse gradually slowed to match the constant, metronomic swipe of Aspen’s thumbs over her cheeks as one kiss bled into another until every last vestige of her panic attack had disappeared as if it’d never existed in the first place.
She wrapped a hand around Aspen’s wrists as their kisses slowed, and blew out a trembling breath as Aspen’s forehead pressed solidly against hers. Aspen didn’t speak, didn’t push, just let her come back to herself and the world in her own time. And maybe she should have waited until she felt a little more grounded, a little more in control of herself before speaking, because instead of thanking Aspen, she whispered, “You kissed me.”
“I did,” Aspen confirmed just as softly. “I’m sorry.”
The uncertainty in Aspen’s voice that tugged at Eve’s heart, and it was that impetus that gave her the strength to blink her eyes open. “Why?”
“Well, I…I was worried and…” Aspen’s eyes danced over Eve’s face. “I’m sorry for crossing a line—”
Eve interrupted her with the two words she should have said to begin with, “Thank you.” It wasn’t enough to chase away the concern in Aspen’s gaze, so she added, “You didn’t cross a line, Aspen.”
Aspen’s eyes crinkled as she argued, “I mean, I kind of did.”
“Maybe.” Eve lightly caressed the inside of Aspen’s wrists. It was suddenly very important to her that Aspen not regret it. Regret her. “But Iwaswondering what it would be like to kiss you, and now I know.” She took a deep breath, and was relieved by the way it filled her lungs completely. “You’re a very good kisser.”
Aspen’s soft puff of laughter sent a delicious ripple down Eve’s spine. “I’m glad you think so.” Eve’s eyes fluttered as Aspen tenderly traced the arcs of her cheeks with her thumbs. “Especially because that wasn’t even my best work.”
“Oh?” Eve leaned into the touch and smiled when, instead of replying, Aspen pressed a kiss to her forehead, instead. “I like that, too,” she confessed.
Aspen nuzzled closer. “Me too.” She sighed as she pulled away. “Do you really want to do this? We can fuck right off back to my place, or get a hotel room, or—”
“It’ll be fine,” Eve assured her, touched by her protective rambling. “I should be okay for the rest of the week. I’ve progressed enough that it usually takes a while to repeat.”
“I hate that it happens at all.”
“Yes, well…” Eve smiled sadly. “At least I got it out of the way early.” Her brow furrowed as a new thought occurred toher. “Wait, you recognized what I was going through, didn’t you? And somehow you knew what to do?”
Aspen took a deep breath and nodded. “I’ve had a few of my own.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Maybe I’ll tell you about it some other time. For now, though…” Aspen searched her eyes. “Eve, if your parents cause you this much anxiety, are you really sure you want to do this?”
“Want to? Not at all. But I need to.” Eve pressed a finger to Aspen’s lips to silence the argument she could see building in her gaze. “For me. I need to prove to myself that I am stronger than they think I am.”
Aspen nodded and kissed the tip of Eve’s finger. “Okay. But if you change your mind, I will get us out of here so fucking fast their heads will spin.”
Eve’s heart lodged itself in her throat. Maybe it was the protective glint in Aspen’s eyes, or the determined set of her jaw—or maybe it was because Aspen had seen her at her weakest, and still trusted her to know herself and her limits—but whatever the case, it was in that moment that Eve realized she could very easily fall in love with Aspen Collier-West.
Despite Eve’s assurances, Aspen was on high alert as she followed Eve to the front door. She could empathize with Eve feeling like she needed to do this, but she seriously hated that she had to. That panic attack had been no joke.
She’d been so afraid that she wouldn’t be able to help guide Eve back from it. Had been fucking terrified by the way Eve was clawing at her sweatshirt, her breaths falling so sharp and fast that she nearly spiraled into an attack of her own because of how much they sounded like machine gun fire.
Her own pulse had skyrocketed as she tried to get through to her, and she’d never felt more relief than she had when Eve began to respond to her leading questions. She knew the touchstones worked for her, but she honestly hadn’t known if they’d work for Eve.
But they had.
Until they didn’t, anyway.
She still didn’t know what had sent Eve reeling back into her attack, but it’d been the plaintive, panicked way Eve gasped her name that had leaning in on impulse—a frantic, fuck it all, instinct—that had her pulling Eve in for a kiss.
As impulsive as it was, the kiss itself was tentative. It was no more than a chaste laying of her lips against the gasping, desperate whimpers that were falling from Eve’s mouth. Whenthe whimpers slowed, giving her hope, she’d pressed a little harder, pouring everything she had into the touch, willing Eve to feel her and respond.
And when Eve did…
Aspen’s stomach fluttered as she recalled the way Eve had softened against her in stages until the kiss was no longer frozen, but soft. Desperate, but gentler. A real kiss that accepted Aspen’s offer to become a tether. An anchor. It should have felt wrong to kiss Eve like that, but as Eve’s mouth opened beneath hers and their tongues stroked lightly together, it felt like the most natural thing in the world.
