Tears stung at her eyes as she frantically tugged at the collar of her sweater, desperate for relief. It didn't help though. She couldn’t get the collar far enough away to breathe. The shirt wasn't the problem, but the crew neck kept touching her throat, feeling like it was strangling her.
“Are you— Oh no. Hey, Eve, listen to me. You’re not in any danger, okay?” Aspen’s words were urgent but sounded increasingly like a distant echo. “You’re right here with me. Come back, please?”
Eve was so trapped in her thoughts that she didn’t register the fact that the car had stopped or that her controlled breaths had turned into desperate, ragged gasps. She wasn’t aware ofanything beyond the tightness in her chest and the panic that had wrapped its fist around her throat.
“Can you see me, Eve? I’m right here. Listen to my voice. Or look around and tell me something that you see?”
Embarrassment.
Such a waste of potential.
Her parents damning condemnations from years past pinballed back and forth across her brain, each rebound eliciting a fresh wave of stomach-churning desperation to flee. To escape.
To fucking survive.
“Can you tell me something you see, Eve?” Aspen asked, her voice low and cautious. “Just one thing.”
Eve sucked in a sharp breath. Right. She knew this. Shecoulddo what Aspen was asking. She blinked, and Aspen’s furrowed brows and intense, pleading eyes came slowly into focus. “Brown eyes.”
“Good girl,” Aspen murmured. Her hands were gentle as she carefully plied Eve’s away from the collar of her sweater. “Now tell me something you can touch.”
Eve twisted her hands in Aspen’s and clasped them like they were the only thing keeping her tethered to earth. “You.”
Aspen’s cheeks twitched with a smile. “Yeah, you have me. Tell me something you can hear.”
Eve’s throat constricted. Beyond her heart that thundered in her ears, the only thing she could hear was Aspen. The voice in the back of her head that had worked through these steps with her therapist suggested that she should be looking for something else to ground herself, but right now all she could focus on was Aspen. “Your voice.”
“Okay. Good.” Aspen’s thumbs brushed over the backs of her hands. “Something you smell?”
Eve closed her eyes and breathed in deeply. It was only when she was focusing on what she was smelling that she noticedthe notes of Aspen’s cologne. It was woodsy and masculine, but subtle, like sunshine on a summer’s breeze, and she blinked her eyes open as she reported, “Sandalwood and vanilla.”
“Spot on,” Aspen murmured. She inclined her head, and Eve stared, transfixed by the way Aspen’s full, pink lips moved as she said, “Last one, beautiful, girl. Something you taste.”
Eve’s pulse thudded as she watched Aspen’s lips form the wordtaste. She shook her head.
“You can do it,” Aspen murmured. She gathered both of Eve’s hands in her left and reached up with her right to gently tuck an errant strand of Eve’s hair behind her ear. “Just one thing.”
Eve’s breath caught at the feeling of Aspen’s fingers against her cheek, so soft, warm, and steadfast. Her heart lodged itself in her throat as she continued to stare at Aspen’s mouth. “I… Aspen…”I want to know what you taste like.
“One thing,” Aspen murmured as she cradled Eve’s jaw in her hand.
Eve shook her head. “Can’t,” she gasped.
“You can,” that perfect mouth encouraged.
Eve shook her head as her breathing sped. Her mouth was suddenly cotton. She couldn’t taste anything. In fact, as her breaths came harder and faster, she found herself losing the few handholds Aspen had managed to lead her to. Gone was the subtle, reassuring scent of Aspen’s cologne. She blinked and gasped for air as Aspen’s face began to blur. Fuck. She’d had it. She’d been rightfuckingthere, right on the precipice of getting her hard-won control back, and now she’d gone and lost it again.
Shit.
Shit.
Shit.
She yanked her hands away from Aspen’s and clawed at the collar of her sweater that was once again too goddamn tight on her neck. The rapid-fire gasps falling from her lips werepanicked, but she couldn’t do anything to slow them. Her skin felt like it was crackling with electricity and her head full of angry, swarming wasps, and wanted to cry out to Aspen for help, but all she could do was yank at the neck of her sweater while she slowly but surely hyperventilated.
“Damn it. No, no, no.” Aspen’s hands were as soft as velvet as they slid along her jaw. “Come on, beautiful girl. It’s you and me here. You can do this. Look at me.”
Eve shook her head. She couldn’t. She needed to breathe. Fuck it all, she just needed to breathe and she’d be okay, but she couldn’t, she couldn’t, she—
