He laughed, and the sound echoed off the boundaries of his prison. How had he made himself believe he could hurt her? How had he tricked himself into believing that he was anything but wholly and utterly consumed by her. Obsessed withher. Fucking in love with her?
When he decided to bring Nikel to justice that night, he’d lost her even before the trap was sprung. That loss was so blood-damned heavy. But this? He would never recover from this.
Nevskol honor, or the need for clan. He didn’t even have a soul without Vessa. He was a broken Xaal. And every miserable and jagged piece of him belonged to her.
Time passed in a blood-washed blur. Within the display of his helmet, he watched the signal for the plasma dirk move farther and farther away. She was running with little to no rest. The distance between them grew.
She was going to make it to her ship. That untraceable vessel.
And once she did, he’d never see her again.
The blood-stained ice taunted him as he returned to his task.
Chapter 17
Vessa
Eight Months Later
All her focus was on the task at hand. There was no room for mistakes. It had to be flawless.
Vessa lifted the flat pan and flipped the hotcake. It landed in the center, and its underside was cooked to the perfect golden-brown.
Just two days ago, she had traveled hours to trade an old converter for a jar of the best fruit spread this side of the universe. Carrying her breakfast and freshly squeezed juice, she moved to her makeshift patio. She was truly spoiled by the view. Between the two rising suns and the one forever frozen in sunset, the sky was a painting caught between dusk and dawn. Lush jungles surrounded her on all sides. The scent of wildflowers and last night’s rain hung tangled in the air.
As she curled up in her cushioned seat, her hair blew in the warm wind, and she listened to the orchestra of an untamable wilderness that never slept. She ate her breakfast slowly,attempting to fully experience and savor each bite until even the last of the jam on her plate was licked off.
The perfect start to a perfect day.
Except, she found no pleasure in her surroundings. Her flawless pancake with extra jam was nothing but ash on her tongue. As much as it should be right, everything felt so fucking wrong.
Vessa hadn’t wanted to settle anywhere, but everything had changed since that frigid planet where she was forced to meet her past. That beautiful and wretched past in the shape of a Xaal.
That doomed mission had been a reckoning.
Her heart was broken and the pain was unbearable. She expected it to pass. For three months she drifted in the astral waves of an outer system, ignoring all petitions for work. She tried to numb it away with an unquantifiable amount of dumplings and ice cream, and by watching over two thousand episodes ofBetween Dimensions.
But there was no burying it. No cure, no numbing herself. She felt every excruciating second of it. Instead of softening with time, the heartachedevouredher. It was a longing that couldn’t be satiated.
Some fundamental part of herself was missing.
Stepping out from the overhang of her ship, she stretched slowly, her hands reaching for the mottled sky. She’d chosen the planet of Lovo specifically. It had three suns, stayed hot all year round, and reminded her of home.
The real reason, though, was because she’d been pulled to the planet by an unexplainable force. And gods, she was desperate. Desperate to put her broken pieces back together again. To fill the terrible chasm within her.
But the damage was too great. She’d left something too vital behind. The blood challenge hadn’t ended in death, but she died on that planet all the same.
Pushing her body to the point of exhaustion offered only a little reprieve, but she took anything she could get.
Vessa rolled her neck out, stretched out her legs.
And then she ran.
The jungle, with its ancient, gnarled trees dressed decadently in their green moss, enveloped her. Pumping her arms and willing her legs to take her faster, she remained aware of her surroundings. This place still saw her asother, unlike the forests of her home. But she hoped that one day soon, it would fully welcome her as its own.
Vessa leapt over a downed tree but kept her hard pace. The world flashed by in a rush of emeralds and blues. And she could just pretend. Pretend she was fine. Pretend that after her run, she would return to her faction and eat breakfast with her parents. Pretend that she’d never met a violet-eyed Xaal who told her she was everything to him.
Something shifted in the foliage to her left. The sound was near silent. So quiet it was unnatural. She maintained her pace, but all her awareness was on what trailed her. Casually pushing her hair behind her ear, she looked over her shoulder.
