Stars damn him, he still was.
He gritted his teeth and tore his gaze from her. It would capture his attention no matter the female, he was certain. Hair wasn’t openly displayed in his culture except for the unmasked youth. To see a masked Xaal’s face or hair was a privilege reserved for a bruvya or a mate—no one else. Though there were clans that did not follow these codes, most agreed that to be seen by anyone else was dishonorable. That was what he knew, but Vessa had always worn her long, thick hair freely.
Like a planet pulled deep into the grasp of a rogue sun, he couldn’t keep his focus off her for long. She worked expertly, creating the pattern with each weave. Kedar had always wanted to touch her hair, let it slip through his fingers. He’d even thought to ask her once if she would teach him how to braid so he could be the one who shaped the designs from her crown.
She might not be Xaal, but even he knew that was much too intimate of an act.
Watching her now also felt like too much—some piece of her that he should no longer have access to. Didn’twantaccess to. He’d thought finding her would put the past to rest, but instead, all it did was give it more life. Revived it and armed it.
When he’d first pulled her into the cave, when she’d finally realized it was him, there’d been a disconnect in his mind. Everything about her had remained the same. Her form, her voice, herscent. It was overwhelming, an attack on his senses. For a brief and terrible moment, he’d considered abandoning everything he’d worked so hard for these last seven cycles. Aftershe had haunted the halls of his ship for so long, she was suddenly in front of him. Flesh and blood. Full of all thatfire.
Vessa was exceptional, and exceptional things deserved to burn bright and bold.
But the rage harbored inside of him burned hotter.
The night they had truly fought, he lost everything. She’d stripped him of his honor, his purpose. A Xaal without honor wasnothing.
He may not bear the mark of disgrace physically, but the poison of it was in his veins. That was his anchor in this unexpected storm that was Vessa and everything she’d once been to him. What they’d been to each other. The memories might plague him more now, but his conviction was resolute. Stronger.
When Vessa finished, she inspected each of the flawless braids before sweeping her long hair over her shoulders. Despite the warming blanket wrapped around her, shivers racked her body every few seconds. When she settled and fell asleep, the shaking only worsened.
Kedar’s attention remained on her. He couldn’t let her disappear again. At any moment, she could wake up and sneak away into the wind and snow. Or prove to be nothing more than a shadow phantom taunting him. Even as she dressed earlier, he’d watched the dull heat of her thermal form moving through the snowfall—lithe and deadly as ever.
Nearly five cycles he’d spent by her side,dedicatedto her, in defiance of the laws of his clan and her faction. For a Xaal, satisfaction was found in strength and conquest, honor and the hunt. But during that time, Vessa had meant more to him than any of that.
Those cycles were no more. They were written onto dead stars, nothing but dust in distant galaxies.
They plagued him anyway.
There should never have been a reason to know her. Their people shared the same planet, but Xaal were not the natives of it, the Sekens were. The hatred they held for his kind was deep and ancient. Territories were divided and lines rarely crossed.
Until the Zaram invaded.
Any part of their planet with argott—a mineral the Sekens had kept hidden even from the Xaal—had been under attack. The richest deposit of it sat in a deep network of tunnels that ran through Vessa’s faction and his clan’s territory. Both had fought against the invaders, careful not to encroach, but the Zaram came in droves. Kill ten and a hundred more replaced them.
There were times his clan would watch her faction fight while cloaked. The Sekens had skilled warriors, but their fighting style was considerably different than that of his clan. Vessa had caught his eye almost immediately. She moved so fluidly, flowing through her attacks like they were a violent dance. Her curves rounded into honed muscles, and she was far more beautiful than any blade he could think to liken her to. Far deadlier, too. She was her own damn weapon. And to wield something like that…
Vessa mumbled something in her sleep that sounded suspiciously like a threat, and Kedar was pulled from the reverie. He gritted his teeth, his top fangs digging into his bottom lip so hard he drew blood.
He didn’t know how long he could do this. She would need two or three settings to recover. He’d been tormented every moment forcycles, but being trapped with her, being able tosmellher and hear her voice, was an altogether different kind of torture.
It would have been so simple if they’d never met. If her faction and his clan hadn’t made an unprecedented alliance fight against the Zaram. If she hadn’t picked him out of all the other Xaal during a joint training session and beat him. If they had justobeyed their leaders when the war was over, stayed away from each other. If he had justfucking—
Vessa rolled over, half-awake, peering first at the flames before seeking him out. He didn’t realize his breath was trapped in his lungs until her gaze landed on him.
A small frown pulled at the corner of her mouth. “Are you watching me sleep?” Her voice was low and smoky from her slumber, and his damn body reacted to it.
“No,” he said. Perhaps too quickly.
Her frown deepened, but she was already settling again. “I can feel your eyes on me, Kedar. We’ve talked about this,” she grumbled.
Talked about it? Yes, on one of their hunts.Tencycles ago.
His breathing didn’t return to normal until long after she’d fallen back to sleep.
Chapter 7
Vessa
