And ancestors above, it was so good.
Chapter twenty-two
Very-Much-Intact Virginity
Zef
“The evil, transphobic wizardqueen, JKR, falls,” Rusty said dramatically as Bryce, Jude, Oliver, Liel, and Toni cheered in victory. “She shrieks her rage as she sends one last spell into the sky, but when the magic dissipates and the smoke clears, her body is still and lifeless.”
“And ugly,” Jude crowed, high-fiving Toni. “Fuck JKR!”
“I don’t know who that is, but I agree,” Toni said vehemently, kissing Jude’s cheek.
“The party embraces,” Rusty continues, voice growing somber, “grateful to be alive, but their joy is dampened by the loss of their bard.”
Pouting, Gem slumped in his seat, all six arms crossed over his torso. “I cannot believe I died at the end! Fucking bullshit. I don’t care if she was a bigot. My magical puss should have beaten her.”
“You should have rolled higher than a four,” Bryce said, and Gem’s arm and leg fur vibrated in aggravation as he bared his small fangs.
“If the fantasy game is over, shall I prepare dinner?” Zef asked from the kitchen.
Toni rose from the table, clapping Oliver on the shoulder. “Yeah, I’ll come help you.”
“I love winning,” Liel said smugly, admiring the colorful dice. “When can we play again?”
“Hey, I’m not done. I have a whole epilogue written,” Rusty muttered, frowning at everyone.
“Shut up, and listen to Rusty’s epilogue!” Gem snarled as Zef and Toni adjourned to the kitchen. “He worked really hard, and you all better appreciate it.”
As they wrapped up their game, Zef chopped vegetables for the fresh salad, and Toni cooked the couscous. Since summer was in full swing, they had decided on a cold meal of vegetable salad with couscous and legumes. Zef mixed the salad dressing, offering Toni a taste for feedback.
“Ooh, baby, that slaps,” the Elas said.
“And that is a good thing?” Zef clarified, making Toni laugh.
“Yeah, it’s a good thing.”
Bryce entered the kitchen, trailed by Gem who was still arguing that he should have had another roll since the dice had slipped out of his fingers. Coming to a stop behind Zef, he put his hands on their hips and shifted them over a step so he could open the cupboard and retrieve a glass.
“Thank you,” he said in their ear, breath warming the metal pierced through their cartilage.
“Would you like to taste?” they asked before he could move away, offering him some of the dressing on a small spoon.
Bryce opened his mouth so they could slip the spoon in and hummed. “That’s good. Sweet but nutty. Nice job,darlin’.”
“Thank you,” they said loftily, antennas dancing in satisfaction.
He patted their waist before he headed back into the living room, saying, “You can’t reroll, Gem. That’s not how it works.”
Apparently, Gem had lost interest in the argument because he did not respond. Zef tossed the vegetables with the leafy greens, slowing their movements as the silence in the kitchen stretched. Checking over their shoulder, they startled at the wide-eyed, gaping stares of Gemae and Toni.
“What?” they asked.
“Um—” Toni started, before Gem shrieked, “Bryce just manhandled you right in front of us is what! I feel like I just witnessed something inappropriate, and I should go wash my eyes out with bleach or something.”
Zef frowned. “Do not exaggerate.”
“It was practically pornographic,” Gem insisted.
