“Maybe, but it’s okay if you needed time to process, especially if he was over there just putting his thumb in your mouth like a freak.”
Actually, the touch had not been entirely unpleasant. Surprising, yes, and perhaps unbalancing. But not bad.
“He put it on my mouth, not in it,” they corrected, because that difference felt important.
“Whatever,” Tad dismissed. “Listen, he likes you, and that’s that. What matters most is do you like him?”
And honestly, they had yet to even consider that part. “I do not know.”
“That’s okay. You don’t have to know. You can take time to think about it until you do know,” she said, and again, her words brought relief.
“But how am I supposed to know? I have never liked anyone romantic-styles.”
She snorted. “I’m not the person to ask about that gooey shit. But you could always fuck him and see if that makes a difference.”
“Absolutely out of the question!” They balked in affront at the mere insinuation. “I am offended you would even suggest such a thing.”
“Hey, you called me for help, and I’m doing my best here,” she snapped. “I don’t know about gross lovey stuff, but do you like it when he’s around?”
They barely had to think about it before they answered, “Yes.”
“Do you like looking at him?”
“Yes,” they said again. “He is very aesthetically pleasing.”
“Do you want to, like, kiss him and stuff?”
Antennas curling up quickly, they scrunched their face. “I… do not know. I have never considered kissing anyone before.”
“That’s okay. You don’t ever have to kiss anyone, even if you do like them,” Tad said. “Do you wanna hold his hand?”
They had touched his hand before, and it had been big and warm and nice. “I think so. He has lovely hands.”
“That’s something. And do you like talking to him and hanging out with him and doing stuff with him?”
“Yes, I like all those things,” they said.
They heard the smile in Tad’s voice as she asked, “What else do you like about him?”
Oh, that was easy to answer. Zef liked so many things about him. “I like his curiosity and eagerness to learn and experience new things. He is very smart and kind and helpful, and he listens when I talk about subjects that usually bore other people. And he makes me tea without me having to ask him, and he always makes sure there is enough coffee for me in the morning, just in case I want some, even though I usually do not.
“He tries to honor my mug system, and he vacuums the floor in the direction I prefer. He is thoughtful and patient and interesting. He enjoys philosophical conversation and healthy debate, and he never pushes my boundaries or makes fun of me when I say the wrong thing or misunderstand social interactions.” They smiled to themself, pressing a hand to their chest. “And when he laughs, I feel like my chest is full of sunshine, and when he looks at me, it is as if I am lying in a hot spring, warm and relaxed.
“And when he touches my hand, I feel tingly all over. He is wholly wonderful, Tadora, and I… I like so many things about him,” they said, the knots in their stomach returning. “Is that romantic-styles? Do I like him?”
Tad didn’t respond right away, but eventually, she said, “For the record, I hated everything you just said.”
Zef slumped against their headboard. “Oh.”
“But,” she said, and they perked back up, “it sounds like he makes you feel good, and he makes you feel happy. If that’s not romantic, then it could be if you let it.”
“And if I do not want to let it?” they asked.
“Then don’t. Tell Bryce you don’t feel the same way, and that’s that.”
“And if I do?” they asked, and Tad huffed in exasperation.
“I don’t know, Zef. Then go make out with him or something.”
