Two fingers hovered over his mouth, so close to his lips he felt the buzz of electrons and protons ricocheting between them. But they didn’t touch. It was close, though. So very close.
“I will speak now, and you will listen. Do not just hear me,” they said, eyes so large and unblinking. “Listen.”
And how could he do anything but? So he nodded.
“You see pleasure through a telescope, through a narrow view of something vast and immeasurable. You think pleasure is a fleeting moment, a location, a destination. I experience pleasure as the journey.”They ran a hand over the white carpet beneath them. “I feel pleasure in the plushness of the carpet.” They angled their head to catch the last rays of the sunset on their cheek. “I feel pleasure in the sunshine on my face.
“I experience pleasure in the feel of the cool moonlight and the warm summer breeze. In the smell of dried tea leaves and freshly tilled earth. In the whisper of my plants, and the voices of my family.” Bryce hung on every word as they drew their poetry in the air between them. “I feel it in the crashing of the thunder and the howling of the wind and the rain that beats down because the heavens are raging.
“I feel pleasure when I stand under the warm water and knead soap into my skin.” Two green fingers dragged across their skin from one collarbone to the other as another hand sifted through their long, opalescent hair. “When I run my fingers through my hair and massage shampoo into my scalp.”
A third hand, the one hovering near his mouth, traced the barest path along Bryce’s jaw as Zef’s breath stuttered. “The sharp bite of your beard prickling against my fingertips,” they whispered, and goosebumps exploded over Bryce’s arms.
“I feel pleasure when I sit close to someone… dear to me.” The hand on his jaw lowered to slip into his until they were palm-to-palm, and Zef wet their lips, voice trembling as they said, “And when you hold my hand, I…”
They drifted off, and Bryce nearly whined, a silent plea for them not to stop. When he held their hand, they what? Theywhat?
Zef swallowed thickly and slid their hand free from his. “I experience pleasure all the time, in all things. While you believe pleasure to be nothing but a speck of space dust, I experience the infinite cosmos.” Their next smile was mischievous and had Bryce’s stomach flipping topsy-turvy. “Perhaps it is you who should be envious of me.”
Hand to God, Bryce almost kissed them. Right there, on the floor of their living room. He barely resisted the urge to frame their face in his hands and kiss the magic from their lips. He did resist, but it was a close thing.
“Zef,” he said softly, reaching up to swipe a thumb over their pointed chin, and their breath hitched. “I need to tell you something.”
“You can tell me anything,” they said, and they were so close. They had never let Bryce get this close before. Which had to mean something. They had to feel this, right?
Before he’d fully formed the thought, he was opening his mouth and saying, “I like you, Zef.”
“I like you too,” they said immediately, and his stomach bottomed out, only to solidify when they continued to smile sweetly at him, like they hadn’t just exchanged relationship-altering information.
Crap, they didn’t understand. Which meant he was at a crossroads. He could let it go, let the sweet exchange of friendship sit. Or he could push, he could leap, and hope that Zef was there to catch him.
Was there even a choice? What was life without a little risk?
“No, Zef,” he said, shifting his thumb from their chin to their bottom lip andpressing. “Ilikeyou.”
And oh, they got it now. They gasped, going stiff as a board as their already large eyes widened further. Their antennas curled in until they tucked tightly to their forehead and their wings buzzed in agitation. Then they jerked away from his touch, an unsettling clicking noise clattering in their chest.
Bryce didn’t move. Neither did they. They stared at each other as Zef silently crashed out right in front of him.
When it was clear they were not going to say anything, Bryce swallowed to wet his desert dry throat. “It doesn’t have to change anything,” he saidcarefully. “You’re my friend, okay? You are my dear friend, and that’s the most important thing to me. So nothing has to change. I just thought you should know in case… I thought—”
He made the mistake of reaching for them, and Zef scrabbled to their feet in a whirl of flailing limbs and fluttering wings. “I need to think.”
Clumsily, he climbed up after them, but they were already halfway across the room. “Zef, wait! Where are you going?”
“I need to think,” they said again. “We must postpone the documentary.”
“Hang the documentary. That’s not even—Zef, just wait a second.” He jogged to catch them before they disappeared into their room, snagging their wrist on instinct more than thought. “I’m talking to you.”
With an inhuman screech, Zef spun around, all four wings flaring wide as they ripped their hand free from his grasp. “Do not touch me!”
They didn’t shout, but the coldness of their tone froze Bryce’s chest. The icy shards were so sharp he physically pressed a hand over his heart in some futile attempt to protect it.
“Zef?” he asked, and as quickly as their temper had ignited, it evaporated.
Their face crumpled, and for a moment, they looked lost and scared. They opened their mouth, their top hand rising a foot in his direction, only for it to fist and drop back down.
“I have to think,” they whispered.
