“You’re godsdamned right he fucks this magical pussy,” Gem preened, fluttering his many lashes at Rusty. “And he does it with his magical dick. Seriously, it’s majestic!”
“Gem, we’ve talked about this,” both Rusty and Toni cried simultaneously.
“Stop talking about Rusty’s dick,” Toni said at the same time Rusty said, “Stop talking about my dick!”
Eight eyes split between them, Gem clasped his top hands together and simpered, “Oh my gods, you guys! You’re finally agreeing on something. It’s so beautiful.”
Fortunately for the party—but unfortunately for everyone in that room except Gem—the Araknis rolled a seventeen on charisma and proceeded to enthusiastically bone the Minotaur.
Looking back, it was probably a good thing that Zef never joined their party. Everyone was just way too horny all the time.
“The mini quiches are ready for eating,” Zef announced proudly as they entered the living room where they’d set up the circular folding table.
“You don’t want to be here right now,” Bryce said, pointing at Gem. “He is about to have sex with the Minotaur.”
Surfacing from the deep-throated kiss he’d been sharing with Liel, Oliver said, “Wait, can’t we skip that?”
“Um, no, we aren’t skipping the sex,” Gem said, entirely offended.
“But I have to play the role of the Minotaur.” Rusty grimaced as Toni’s face paled in horror.
“If I have to sit here and listen to Gem and Rusty role-play sex, I’m out!” Toni lifted his hands in surrender and stood from the table.
“Yes, it is horrifying,” Zef said mournfully, antennas drooping before their eyes widened, catching their slip. “Would be,” they corrected quickly. “It would be horrifying.”
Gem slumped in his seat. “No, you’re right. Our sex is too fire, and it would probably kill Zef. And, babes”—he spun in his chair to face Zef—“I can’t have that on my conscience.”
“Thank gods Zef is here,” Toni mumbled as he sat back down.
To the rest of the table, Gem said, “We will skip the sex. But only in the game. Rest assured, the sex is happening when we get home.” He winked one big eye at Rusty. “You’re gonna make such a good Minotaur, babe.”
“Don’t wink like that,” Rusty whispered, “then everyone will think we’re gonna do it.”
“But we are gonna do it,” Gem whispered back so very, very seriously.
“Maybe we can move on,” Bryce said as he took one of Zef’s mini quiches, gesturing at Rusty to take back control of the narrative.
The Pyclon nodded, pulling his book back up. “Right. So, now that the Minotaur has been… satisfied—”
“Thoroughly,” Gem added, and Rusty sighed deeply.
“Thoroughly,” he echoed, and Gem kicked his feet and giggled profusely.
A short while later, as everyone was preparing to leave, Oliver paused at the door as Liel slipped on his loafers. “Zef said your birthday’s coming up. Wanna go out and do something? Club, bar, restaurant?”
“Strip joint?” Gem called from outside.
“Oh, okay. Yeah, that sounds fun. Not the strip joint,” Bryce clarified, and Oliver nodded like that was a given. “I’m not one for clubbing, but maybe a chill bar or something.”
“Toni will know a spot. You want to keep it small, or should we invite everyone?”
“Everyone is good,” Bryce said, and Oliver slapped his shoulder.
“Cool. I’ll throw it in the group chat, and we’ll go from there.”
Patting Oliver’s back, Bryce shadowed him to the door. “Thanks, Oliver.”
“Oh, don’t thank me. It was Zef’s idea. I just know they get overwhelmed with planning stuff, so I told them I’d figure out the details,” Oliver said as followed Liel down the porch steps. “See you later, Bryce.”
