“Yeah, but it rolls off the tongue nicely,” Liel said.
“I think my mom just liked alliteration,” Rusty said.
“Wait, what about your story about free bleeding?” Quin asked, and Gem blinked in a wave from left to right.
“Thank you, Quin, for remembering. It’s a great story.” Clearing his throat, he squared his shoulders and set the scene. “It was the first year of secondary, third semester. I was already well established in the hierarchy. Popular, but not, like, so popular that it’s cringe, you know?”
“Popular, orpopular?” Tad asked, making a rather rude gesture for intercourse with her hands.
Hand to his chest, Gem looked properly affronted. “Girl, do you even know me at all? It was definitely both. But that doesn’t matter right now. I’m still getting to the good part.
“So it was third semester, and suddenly, we got a transfer student from Gluttony. He’d been expelled, they said. For killing a teacher, some said. For fucking a teacher, others said.”
“Which is kinda messed up if you think about it,” Toni interjected. “’Cause if I did fuck a teacher at fourteen, that would have been, like, molestation or some shit.”
“But the rumor of you being a murderer doesn’t bother you?” Jude asked.
Toni waved a blasé hand. “Nah, no one actually believed that.”
“The murder one? Not really. The molestation? Definitely,” Gem said, and Toni’s face fell.
“Aw, man, that’s a bummer.”
“Anyway,” Gem sang, snapping his fingers to bring their attention back to him, “the transfer student, bad boy Toni Eloise Maryno himself, was now attending our school. The girls wanted to be with him. The boys wanted to be him. And the theys… Actually, the theys thought you were annoying. Sorry, Toni.”
With a frustrated grunt, Toni bundled Jude tighter in his lap. “This story is not painting me in a good light.”
“Don’t worry, we’ll get there,” Gem promised. “So I’d seen him around in his leather jacket and studded, fingerless gloves.”
“Aw, you were a baby douchebag,” Jude said fondly, giving Toni a peck on his cheek. “That’s cute.”
“Gem’s telling the story all wrong!” the Elas barked. “You see, I was hitting on hissister—”
The entire table filled with jeers, and Oliver even tossed a balled up napkin at Toni’s head.
“Hey, it wasn’t like that,” he defended.
“Oh, it was definitely like that,” Gem said. “He tried hard to land Tria, but she is the epitome of lesbian. Like, she hates men. She eviscerated him in the hallway, and it was amazing. Unfortunately, it had the opposite effect and only made Toni want her more.”
“Okay, don’t look at me like that,” Toni hissed, jabbing his finger around the table of judgmental faces. “I have childhood trauma!”
“Anyway,” Gem said, louder this time, “One day, Tria and I are wearing matching white shorts, but she started her period unexpectedly. Blood stains everywhere. And as strong and confident as Tria was, she was still a fourteen-year-old girl. So to save her from embarrassment, we swapped shorts. I walked around all day with bloody shorts, and anytime anyone tried to give me shit, I called them a misogynistic asshole! So then bitchass Connor—”
“Fucking bitchass Connor,” Toni echoed.
“—who had always been jealous of me, decided it was his opportunity to uslurp me.”
“Usurp,” Bryce corrected, and Gem’s eyes flashed dangerously.
“Don’t tell me what I know, Bryce!” he snarled before collecting himself and continuing. “Usurp me and steal my social status. So he called me a transvestite and said that the blood was mine. And I was like, who cares if I do have a pussy? Pussies are canonically stronger than dicks and balls and probably nicer to look at. You know, if you’re into that sort of thing.
“At least, I was going to say that, but then Toni—see, we’re bringing it back. The story’s all coming together now.” Judging from numerous facial expressions around the table, the story was not connecting as fluidly as Gemclaimed, but the Araknis did not appear to notice. “Toni jumped into the fray in my defense. He has sisters—”
“So many sisters,” Toni said.
“And he knows all about periods.”
“They all synced up eventually, and every month, it was the week of suffering and torture. Of torture, I tell you,” Toni cried.
