Gem snorted and ripped another bite from his sandwich. “Psh, figured you’d be up for a little spit play.”
“Jude’s the only one who can spit on me,” Toni slapped back, making Jude high-five him with a proud, “Goddamn right.”
“Guys, come on,” Oliver said, face scrunched up in disgust. “I don’t want to know.”
“I want to know,” Gem said unabashedly.
“I wouldn’t seek out the information,” Liel said primly, brushing a crumb off his blazer. “But I’m not opposed to gossip.”
“Here, Zef,” Tad said, holding out the spray bottle, and Zef took it and sprayed at the vines clinging to Bryce’s wrists. They recoiled from the soapy mixture, withdrawing back into the recess of the trellis.
With a small wince, Bryce lowered his hands and rubbed at his wrists. “They don’t like water?”
“They do not like my soap,” Zef corrected. “I have tried to reason with them. I even read a book on gentle-parenting, but that did not work either. This is the only method, other than the hat, that seems to work.”
“Some things can’t be gentle-parented,” Tad said with a shake of her bald head. “Sometimes, violence is the only answer.”
“Violence is never the answer, Tad,” Oliver said.
“Only wimpy losers say that,” Tad shot back, and Oliver reared back in offense.
“That was shockingly hurtful.”
“Ooh, you should fight her and prove her wrong,” Gem said as he shoved the rest of his food into his mouth. “And I’ll put on my bikini and walk around the ring with the round cards as the audience lusts after me.”
Oliver glared as Liel petted his arms in comfort. “So first you wanted Toni to bang Tad, and now I have to fight her?”
“Hey!” Gem held up several index fingers. “I never said the wordbang. Tad, girl, I was respectful.”
Smiling eerily at Toni, Tad said, “Sounds like a fun afternoon to me. Fair warning, neither of you are walking away from it with all your limbs.”
With a noise that sounded suspiciously like a frightened,“eep!”Oliver ducked behind Liel as Toni petted his quivering arm fins.
“I feel very uncomfortable with this conversation.”
“I can spit on you, if it’d make you feel better,” Jude offered, and Toni growled deep in his chest as he tugged the human into his side.
“Yeah, keep talking dirty.”
“Now,Iam feeling very uncomfortable with this conversation,” Zef said.
“I’m not sure I even know what’s going on,” Bryce admitted in a whisper.
“Count it as a blessing,” Zef said dryly, and Bryce snorted another deep laugh. It was a rather lovely sound, and they let it tickle across their skin like the autumn breeze.
Someone’s phone chimed, and Gem pulled his out of his pocket and glanced down at the screen with several eyes. All eight widened, and he made an odd choking sound.
“Uh, I gotta go,” he said, voice cracking slightly. “I have a… thing I need to take care of.”
“What thing?” Toni asked suspiciously.
“Nothing,” Gem said, much too quickly. “Someone—I mean, something just came. Up!Came up.”
Several more chimes, and his cheeks flushed a darker gray, pheromones thickening in the air around them. Zef’s antennas curled up, the ends tucking under their hair to hide from the unwanted sexual energy.
“An unforeseen situation has arisen. Arose? Nope, that’s not better.” Gem wiped several palms on his shorts as he giggled manically. “I just mean that something unexpected and delightful has occurred—is occurring, rather, and it requires my immediate and hands-on attention.”
“That was a completely normal string of sentences,” Jude said with a mischievous grin.
