I retrieve a pack of wet wipes and a pair of two-legged pants from the pile and hold them out to Jaime. “Do you need help?”
He grimaces. “Yeah, it would be for the best. I could probably handle it alone eventually, but it’s cumbersome. I’d appreciate help. If…if you don’t mind?”
The way his voice falters gives me pause. “I don’t mind. Why do you ask?”
“Well, it’s just that you seem so much more… I don’t know, civilized? Intelligent? Those are terrible words, sorry. I just mean that you’re not obliged to help me. You might not have realized it before, but now—”
Such a ridiculous idea. “Jaime, I want to help you. I…” Shaking my head, I search my mind for the right words, carefully choosing so I’m not misunderstood. The remnants of the fog still linger in parts of my mind, making speaking more difficult than it should be, but for Jaime I want to do my best. “I want to helpyou because I love you, Jaime. You are an amazing person, and I thank all the gods in the universe that, even heavily affected by the fog, I still had enough presence of mind not only to avoid hurting you but to help you as best I could. I… I’m sorry for the boundaries I crossed.” I licked him. Fuck.
Jaime’s smile is tender as he caresses the side of my snout. “You were the best keeper ever. You still are. I don’t hold anything against you, Adam. Actually, for someone I considered a primitive alien, you were super keen on consent. It shows how deeply ingrained those values are inside of you.”
Shaking my head, I avoid answering and help Jaime into the pants. I didn’t ask for Rokesh’s consent before gouging out his eye. My brother. I’m not ready to face him. I don’t know if I ever will be, even though I know I can’t avoid speaking to him forever. This is his ship, after all, the one I fled from five years ago.
Five years. I don’t remember most of it; the fog was merciful in that regard, but for Rokesh, it must have felt like eternity, and he never stopped looking for me. I don’t deserve such loyalty.
“So, what did you teach,Professor?” Jaime asks curiously as he unwraps various food containers.
“Ironically, linguistics,” I reply, gently snatching the bowl of Kelaren soup out of his hands. “You won’t like that. Trust me.” It’s always been my favorite, but I think Jaime might have a problem with the larvae floating in it. They’re not technically worms, but I don’t think he’d appreciate the distinction.
He grimaces as he watches me scoop it with a spoon. “Eww. I’m not kissing you again until you’ve rinsed your mouth, at least. I’ve had enough freaking worms to last me a lifetime.” Humming in pleasure much like when I teased his cock, Jaime digs into a bowl of leafy greens mixed with cubes of meat and brown sauce. I decide not to tell him that the meat is from an erde beast, which, technically speaking, is a worm. A giant one, but still a worm.
“Linguistics, huh?” He chuckles. “That really is ironic. I’m sorry you got sick.”
“Thank you.” No one knows what triggers the red fog. We all carry the same latent genetic marker, but most individuals live their entire lives unaffected. After I was diagnosed, I couldn’t help but keep wondering. Was it something I did? Something I ate? Someone I met? Useless thoughts that were in no way helpful, but I couldn’t stop them anyway. “Thank you for healing me.” I don’t know why, but Jaime’s scent, his mere presence, seems to drive the fog away. It’s still there, lurking in the back of my mind, but it no longer controls me.
Jaime shrugs. “I’m not sure I did anything, but I’m happy you’re better. Can I scan you with this, then?” he asks, holding up a handheld scanner.
“Of course.” I will do everything in my power to make sure others suffering from the same condition are closer to being treated.
“Cool. You might have to show me how to do it, though. I can’t read whatever the hell these squiggles are.”
Looking at the screen, I realize it’s in Omnispeak, which Jaime can’t know, especially if he’s only been in space for a few weeks. He told me about his kidnapping. I couldn’t understand the words back then, but I remembered them. He’s been taken by slavers and held in a menagerie while his brother was forced to fight in illegal gladiator matches. The mere thought is revolting.
After choosing the right settings on the scanner, I hand it back to Jaime. “Press this button,” I tell him. I could probably do it myself, but I get the feeling Jaime wouldn’t be happy about that. He always sounded excited when he talked about “space stuff” as he called our technology, which must seem alien and quite advanced to him. I wouldn’t rob him of the experience of using it, even if it’s just a simple scanner.
“It won’t hurt you, right?” When I shake my head, Jaime relaxes. “Okay. I don’t really know how it works, but it looks like a super cool gadget.”
“Mr. Collins?” the doctor’s voice comes through the speaker. He’s young, probably just a regular member of Rokesh’s crew rather than an experienced specialist on the red fog, so his nervousness is understandable given that he’s accidentally stumbled upon the holy grail of Wehdi medicinal research. “If you’re ready, I can walk you through using the scanner.”
The tip of Jaime’s tongue peeks out as he focuses on slowly moving the device around my head. I fight a smile as I watch him from the corner of my eyes. “No need,” he says. “I’m already on it. Sexy professor over here showed me how.”
“He did? That’s…surprising. In a good way, of course. Amazing, really. There’s, uh, also a set for taking blood samples. If you both could provide those, it would be very helpful. Of course, only if it’s safe given Professor Rizven’s…condition.”
Right. They’re worried that poking me with a needle might trigger me again. I don’t think it will, but I don’t hold that fear against them. After all, no one has ever recovered from the red fog. “Why Jaime’s blood?” I ask.
“Well, he was fighting off some infection he picked up on that moon, so we need to make sure the treatment was successful. Also… I’ve contacted the head researchers who deal with the red fog and they sort of…demanded that Mr. Collins be examined as well. They seem to think your remission might have been caused by something locally present on that moon, combined with Mr. Collins’ unique physiology.”
“Demanded?” I don’t like that at all, but I force my aggravation down because it seems to feed the fog. Lashing out is the last thing I want right now.
Jaime’s hand on my knee helps me relax. “It’s fine,” he says to both me and the doctor. “If there’s a chance it will help someone,examine me all you want. Like I said, I’m all for curing chronic conditions.”
Absently, he taps his fingers on his thigh, making me realize that we’ve been talking about me and my issues this whole time, but what about Jaime? Wasn’t he on his way to get treated when he crashed on that moon? That’s just another reason to set him free. I can’t keep him tethered to me just for my own sake. Jaime needs to go back to his life, even if it means I’ll turn into an animal again. “Jaime…”
“I’m fine, Adam. I know what you’re thinking, and the answer is no.”
“No?”
“No,” he confirms with a smile. “You’re not sending me away.” I must look guilty because he narrows his eyes. “Aha! You were thinking about that, weren’t you? Adam,” he sighs. “I love you. We go through everything together, or not at all.”
