Fat chance of me ever wanting to be part of any family of his. The double beep sounded in my ear, signaling Dad ended the call. I stared at the sunlight streaming through the lone window in the living room behind my desk until a few minutes later when a text with the contact came through. I released a sigh and saved the contact to my phone.
Shit was still the same as it was two years ago when I left without looking back. Dad was still a cocksucker and Mom was likely right there with him. In their eyes, I was a failure and the only thing that would change that would be me agreeing to reform myself publicly in their pretentious social circles. Then I would have to be the perfect gentleman they always hoped for to take over Dad’s business. That wasn’t happening. Even as a kid I refused to be what they wanted—the ensuing rejection fucking with me my entire life. I would rather be myself though than be anything I was told to be and I didn’t give a fuck about the company.
I would call the investigator tomorrow. Right now, I needed to work up the courage for the next few steps of my plan for Raven. She had no idea what was about to come her way, and it was going to change everything.
The next morningI was antsy, and I couldn’t focus on work. Every line I narrated was disconnected and lacked any emotion. I was wholeheartedly uninterested in the assigned story, with thoughts of long black hair and soft curves in tightathletic clothes at the forefront of my mind, instead. Raven was becoming a problem.
She haunted my thoughts constantly and after a completely wasted morning with exactly zero minutes of my next project done, I decided to say fuck it. Now that I had seen her in person, even if from a distance, I was a man consumed by lust and need. So I got in my car to drive downtown hoping for maybe another glance.
As soon as I was behind the wheel grief speared me. Probably because I was already in an anxious headspace, but sometimes cars fucked with me after my uncle. He had been the only person in my family that acted like I was worth a damn, and then he died in a car crash.
Not that he was overly affectionate, but he was with Dad at the house a lot and always came to my room to see what I was up to. He didn’t have kids of his own so as an adult I wondered if he would have had them if he lived. Based on his interactions with me, I liked to think he would have.
Shaking myself from my memories, I backed the car out of the spot and drove toward the few high rises in the city.
Driving by her building a few times before parking the car, I continued my venture on foot. After a few trips up and down the street, I walked into the lobby of the glass building. It wasn’t the tallest in the city, but it was tall enough that anyone who paid rent for a space in it was doing well for themselves.
The entrance was fairly simple, a door with full glass walls flanking it, but inside was a different story. In the center of the room sat a grand wooden desk with gold everywhere. Elevators flanked the desk and by the windows were seating options. An art deco chandelier hung from the ceiling, sparkling like a diamond.
On the wall to the right was a directory of businesses and I quickly searched for Lovelace Financial. Floor thirteen offifteen. I shook my head, recalling that most buildings didn’t have a thirteenth floor because of superstitions. Leave it to my goth queen to find one that did. Before I knew what I was doing I walked to the elevators and pressed the up button. When the doors opened and I was inside, I pressed the button for thirteen. My stomach churned as the elevator climbed upward, and the counter clicked higher.
Adingsounded as I reached her floor, and I stepped into a hallway with a business at each end to the left and right. But directly in front of me was hers. The glass doors offered a full view of her reception area, and it was starkly opposite from the vibe in the main lobby. Everything was modern in gray and white with the occasional black accent. It was exactly what I would’ve expected from her. Professional yet she found a way to integrate darkness.
Before I could poke around anymore, a woman with gray-laced hair came into the lobby from somewhere in the back of the office. Dread coursed through me at being seen. I didn’t want to cause a commotion, so I hurried back to the elevators, pressing the down button a few times to get the elevator to hurry up. Thankfully she hadn’t noticed me. Once I was back on the ground level, I pushed through the doors onto the bright street and walked to a park a few blocks away to regain control of myself. Being outside for a while would hopefully calm my nerves, and I could get back and do some heavy recording this afternoon and evening, even though I hadn’t seen Raven.
The day was beautiful, the sky a bright blue contrasting with the green foliage, and I was actually enjoying being outside. There were quite a few people around since the weather wasn’t as hot anymore, which I appreciated. Summer wasn’t really my thing, but then again, no season was my thing. Dropping onto one of the various benches lining thepaths, I scrolled my phone while the light breeze played with my hair. After only a few minutes a dog barked, and I looked to my left, damn near dropping my phone on the concrete. Raven was walking toward me.
Just before she passed, her gaze met mine, and the world fell away. Nothing mattered except her. She was seeing me, Ryan. Not hearing my voice, not reading words on a phone or computer, but seeing the real me. Of course, she didn’t know who I was, but I couldn’t help but feel nervous as her gaze stayed locked on mine.
The women I had been with over the years hadn’t sparked any kind of feeling, since most were shallow as fuck. When my parents cut me out of their lives, I learned that I liked solitude—the yearning for their attention of my childhood nowhere in sight. Being my own person and never having to hear how someone else thought I should live my life was freeing. The last thing I wanted was to end up with someone who was like my mother and her friends, someone who didn’t care about me, anyway. All women weren’t like them, but I was still hesitant, my insecurities at the forefront. Getting my pleasure from knowing how many women listened to my audios to get off with the occasional hook up was fine with me.
But that was before Raven. She was different. I was pining after her like a lovesick teenager.
I watched a faint blush creep onto her pale skin, and my trepidation dissipated. She looked away and fumbled in her pocket, drawing out a phone to answer it. Except the phone hadn’t been ringing when she took it out.
She hurried past me, and I watched her until she disappeared around a corner in the distance. I stared, unseeing, and replayed the scene in my mind. She was even more stunning up close. She was utter perfection.
I walked back to my car in a daze. All I could see were thosegorgeous green eyes staring at me. Raven’s face wasn’t getting out of my head no matter what I did.
Traffic was light since it was early afternoon so I got home quickly. Hurrying to the studio, I started working on the current job. With renewed enthusiasm, I got a decent amount of content recorded before the noisy evening when people began arriving home from work.
I thought about Raven the entire time, putting us inside the dark romance story. When I paused for the female character’s lines, I imagined Raven’s voice speaking them since I didn’t have to say them myself in duet style. Filling the breaks with her professional yet seductive voice made everything seamless.
Halfway through the story, things got interesting. The main female character, Lena, was asleep in bed when the main male character, Ronan, broke into her house and went into her room. His motivation for following Lena was that she’d broken his heart years before and as he watched, he was falling for her all over again. I took a sip of water, and my voice filled the booth.
“Stay still, Lena. The louder you scream, the more I’ll make it hurt.” Her eyes grew as round as saucers. Yeah, she knew exactly who I was. That would make this even better.
Suddenly the fight left her completely as she gazed up into my masked face. I knew she was still in love with me after monitoring her texts and calls so I knew she wanted this—wanted me. “I’m going to move my hand and you’re not going to make a sound, got it?” She nodded with a whimper.
I released her mouth and of course she disobeyed, but instead of a scream, she whispered, “Ronan.”
I slammed her head into the mattress. “I said no talking, Lena.” She nodded vigorously in response. “You’re going to be silent while I drive you mad with pleasure. You’re going to see what you let go ofall those years ago. I’m going to fuck you so well you’re going to regret leaving me for the rest of your life.”
Half an hour later I finished the lengthy scene as I heard a door slam in the apartment above me. Narrating Ronan fucking Lena in the mask while imagining it was me fucking Raven instead had me raging in my pants. I understood why women were obsessed with these books. They were fucking hot, but they were more than that. They were raw and beautiful in a way that easy romances weren’t. Real life wasn’t a fairy tale, and sometimes the path to your happy ending wasn’t always something from a Disney movie.
Chapter Thirteen
Raven
