When I ended the call because I couldn’t keep up the ruse any longer, my cheeks were on fire. The excuse I used was ridiculous, but there were, in fact, actual clients that were picky about the types of companies we invested in—but I knew Ryan couldn’t care less.
This was getting out of hand. I dropped the phone on the counter and groaned as I rubbed my eyes. Why the fuck had I called him?
I actually hoped I never saw Ryan in person because the embarrassment at how I was acting would be too much. I wouldn’t be able to be professional around him, which could get me in trouble. If the Certified Financial Planners Board got wind of unprofessional behavior, I’d be toast.
Glancing at my watch, I decided I’d wasted enough time. It was Saturday so there was a good potential to get a lot of work done. Without so many calls and emails to distract me, I should be able to fly through tasks—one of the reasons I enjoyed working on the weekends.
As I trudged to my office, Ryan’s voice sounded in my mind.
You should do things you enjoy that have nothing to do with work.
Looking around the space, I tried to think about anything but that voice. It was the same as the rest of my apartment, clean lines with black furniture and decor. Maybe I should turn it into something more homey, drawing on earth tones or adding some color. Was I getting tired of my usual style, or was I restless from the unusual turn life had taken recently?
With my low-income childhood, I was infatuated with modern design and decor as an adult. It felt expensive, even though I got most of my furniture from IKEA. I was still frugal, but even faux versions of the furniture in the design magazineswere enough to satisfy me in a way that I hadn’t been when I was younger. My apartment was expensive, but not the things inside it. Guests were none the wiser, not that I ever had guests.
As I sat down and booted up my computer, my thoughts drifted back to Ryan yet again. I wondered how he was in everyday life. What was he like with his friends and family? What were his hobbies and goals? Did he tell jokes or poke fun at those he cared about?
I hadn’t thought of a man in this way for years, maybe ever. The last guy was Spencer, and that ended poorly. I didn’t have the time or desire for anything other than casual dating, but he was my longest relationship at two years. I was fine being single, and I honestly preferred it since relationships complicated life in general—not to mention work, but I was starting to wonder if I should get back into dating.
Maybe I was just preoccupied with the possibility that Ryan could be Zander. When I listened to the first audiobook he narrated last year, I was mildly obsessed for a hot minute, but nothing like this. That had died away like every other fixation I’d had in the past. Work always crowded in and took over, and hopefully that would be the case this time, too. Unfortunately, I didn’t think people simply forgot about him.
Shaking all the thoughts from my mind, I resolved to separate Zander and Ryan. Obsessing over whether they were the same person was counterproductive even though I already knew they were, and in the end, why did it matter? One was business and one was entertainment. I had a job to do for my client, and if he was the voice actor I melted for it had no bearing on my ability to do that job.
My hopes of work went up in flames that afternoon, though, as I kept going back to Zander. I couldn’t think about anything except clicking over to the paid website and hittingplay on one of the posts. I’d gotten a few things done, but they were housekeeping tasks that didn’t amount to much.
Sitting at the kitchen island, I swiped through the notifications on my phone, a missed call from mom, and a host of spam emails. I hadn’t allowed myself to check anything since the call earlier. What grabbed my attention was the new message notification I had from the subscription site. Assuming it was an auto-generated message about how if I paid just five more dollars per month I could get some kind of perk, I tapped into the message.
My stomach dropped. It was from Zander’s account. Surely it was a generic message thanking me for joining. I just missed it last night since I was clearly absorbed in other matters. He hadn’t messaged me specifically, right?
Taking a deep breath, I read the text.
“Hi, finigirl666. With your subscription, you receive a free audio clip. Enjoy.” The message ended with a winking emoji followed by a voice clip, and I suddenly couldn’t breathe. The room felt like it was a million degrees. I laid the phone on the island and lowered my cheek to the cool marble, letting it seep into my flushed skin.
Zander had thousands of subscribers on the platform. Did he record a personal clip for everyone, or did he have one that was automatically sent? That had to be it. I told myself he had a specific audio that he sent all his paid subscribers. He probably didn’t even have to do anything; the website sent it for him.
But I didn’t remember this being listed on the page of benefits of subscribing to the account. I raised my head and pressed my thumb to the sensor on the phone screen to unlock it. A quick scroll through the tiers confirmed there was no mention of an extra clip after subscribing. Maybe he just hadn’t updated the page recently.
Gathering my courage, I tapped back to the message with anticipation similar to meeting a famous person for the first time. Closing my eyes, I clicked play.
“Hi, finigirl666. Thank you for subscribing to my account. I’m just thinking about your gorgeous eyes, hair, and don’t even get me started on that luscious mouth. I can’t get you out of my mind. Be a good girl and go click on my most recent post after you get all comfy in your bed. Press play and choose your favorite way to get yourself off. I need you to come hard for me while listening to my voice, baby. Just relax and let the numbers leave your mind for a while. Be my good…fucking…girl.”
And with that, I dropped the phone. Staring into outer space, my mind was unable to comprehend what I just heard. My core throbbed, and I was suddenly aware of hard nipples trying to break free from my shirt. Despite getting off the night before, my arousal was intense, like being edged all day from sexting with your lover.
My heart skipped. “Let the numbers leave your mind for a while.” The words replayed on loop. I hadn’t imagined that right?
I played the clip back three more times to be sure. I wasn’t delusional. He’d said those words. How did he know I had a thing for numbers? It was just a lucky guess, right?
Wait, was it possible he knew the account belonged to me? Surely not. I shook my head and read the sentences after the audio that I’d missed earlier.
“For subscribing to the highest tier, you also get a free personalized audio. Send a reply with anything you would like me to say, and I’ll record it.”
Once again, I was suspicious. How did he have time to record all of this user-specific content? I listened again, andinstead of wondering why he did so much for his fans, I followed his directions like the good girl he said I was.
I settled into my soft bed and saw that the last post wasn't the same one from last night, but one posted this morning. I clicked play, and goosebumps raised on my skin.
“This one is for my Finigirl.”
“What about you,boss? You seem to be leaving the office earlier these days.” Mia asked from across the table. “Did you find a new hobby or something?”
