I’m saved by a server who comes out of nowhere. “Would you like something to drink or eat?”
“A black coffee would be lovely. Thank you.”
“I’ll be right back.”
I scroll through my phone. And I can’t help but laugh at the apartment group text. I muted it during the week because it’s no longer my responsibility to order groceries or run to the dry cleaner to pick up someone’s uniform because it’s on the way home from the coffee shop. But the girls are at it again. They make me laugh every darn time.
Chanda: I just got home, and is it me or does this place smell like the back lavatory of a CRJ?
Kate: It’s not you. Belinda tried to cook again.
Chanda: Belinda! Give up. DoorDash is your friend.
Kate: We need Raine back... or a hazmat suit.
Chanda: I vote for both.
Ellen: With matching gloves.
Amy: I’m not giving up any of my closet space for your hazmat suit with matching cloves.
Amy: gloves
Kate: Do you think Raine is hiking through the Swiss mountains while we battle the mountain of trash in the kitchen?
Chanda: Oh, I’m sure she’s skiing down the Alps while we’re over here skiing around Valerie’s dirty laundry.
Valerie: You do know it’s August, and that’s not all my laundry! But if you want to give me your black skirt that’s on top of the pile, Kate, I’ll take it.
Kate: Over my . . .
Chanda: I’m debating sleeping on the couch tonight. Too tired to walk to my room.
Valerie: The couch where Ellen spilled yogurt? That’s bold. You’re practically a hero.
Chanda: Tell my story if I don’t make it.
Belinda: I found a half-eaten sandwich in the fridge. Should I be worried?
Amy: Only if it starts texting you back.
Belinda: I guess it’s a pilot sandwich. Because it’s white bread, stale, and it’s never going to text me back.
Amy: bwaaah
Valerie: Remember when Raine used to leave notes about “being considerate”? Now we just get Post-its that say, “clean your mess or face doom.”
Ellen: We’ve evolved. Or regressed. Depends on how you look at it.
Chanda: I texted Raine to come back. Told her NYC isn’t the same without her.
Kate: What’d she say?
Chanda: She sent me a picture of a chocolate croissant. I think she’s over us.
Kate: I just got home. Holy smell, Batman. Belinda, no more cooking.
Kate: If Raine saw the crash pad right now, she’d cancel her return ticket.
