“Kieren has his family. Aisling. His parents.” Roark pushes the rest of the sandwich, now dipped in sauce, into his mouth. Even so, there’s a visceral reaction from him when Kieren’s parents are mentioned. “And Evander, when we go to Elderglen, it’s... lively. Pleasant even, but don’t tell him I said that. His mom makes a good beef stew that’s worth the trip alone. He’s got a huge extended family. There’s music and laughter, so much laughter.” Roark’s eyes drop to mine from where he was staring at the imaginary scene across the room.
I want to ask about his family. I know his parents are dead. Instead, I pop the last apple slice in my mouth.
He grunts. “I don’t need pity, but I don’t have anyone back there. Not anymore.”
“It’s not pity—but I am sorry about your parents. You must miss your brother.”
“Yes.” He turns from me, and when he turns around again, there’s a tear on his cheek. “He’s not dead.”
“Oh . . . Evander said––”
“Evander doesn’t know. Kieren either. Varek’s alive. Though he wishes he wasn’t. He’s living on the outskirts of avalley near Elderglen. I scented him the last time I was visiting with Evander’s family. He made me promise to never tell anyone he’s still alive. To think of him as dead. He’s... he’s not okay. And I’ve just left him there.”
“He asked you to.”
“If your sister had asked you to leave her in an earthen hut in a land where she had no friends, would you have let her stay? Told no one?”
I bite my lip.
“Exactly, Duchess.”
“Can I give you a hug?”
“Always.”
I squeeze him as tightly as possible and lean back. “You’re respecting his wishes. That doesn’t mean he won’t change his mind.”
“Indeed.” Roark pulls me back to his chest.
59
RAINE
Food. I’m starving again and cold. The warm days of summer are long gone. But this time I ate everything Leo brought me for lunch and it’s not quite dinner time yet. Afternoon tea sounds delightful now, but I told Leo at lunch that I wouldn’t want anything because I had to focus. Such a silly thing to have told him.
I stop outside the dining room in the dragon’s eye foyer. Kieren was by earlier, but he’s been called away to Crest Wing for a day or two. Evander’s there now. Roark’s in the office fighting a spreadsheet. Kieren warned me to stay clear: Roark has to get whatever it is he’s doing done, and the last time I poked my head in while he was working, he gleefully left his computer.
The drape over the closed office door is wide open, tempting me to come in. I resist the pull and spin around, pointing myself back in the direction of the dining room. But I pause at the curtain in front of the Thessari. I’m not supposed to look at it. Even now. A waterfall of thoughtsrushes through me. They must have some doubts about me, or they wouldn’t tell me to stay clear of the portal. Right? Queen. I huff. It’s absurd. I’m not queen material. I’m barely Duchess material. My stomach flips. I’m falling in love with all three of them. No, not falling.
In love.
Holy crap. I can’t be in love. Because what if I don’t have the lightning? Also, what if I have the lightning? Queen. Me? I don’t think so. I spin around and glance at the shut door. I could say hi. Sit quietly with my notebook and tell him he has to finish it. Nope, that’s cruel. Because the last time I went in there, I was pinned under him and Kieren within a few minutes. He needs to get his work done. There’s plenty of things I don’t like doing, but once I’m doing them, they’re not that bad. Interrupting him? That’s rude. No matter how much I’m squeezing my core at the memory of last time.
I take a step toward the dining room, but there’s a loud screeching noise behind me. TheThessari.
“Leo!” I run into the dining room. “Leo!”
Leo steps out of the butler’s pantry, a blue robe in hand. “Mr. Slate is returning from Crest Wing.” He snaps the curtain open, and the metallic scrape of the rings on the rod echoes in the foyer.
I tuck my notebook under my arm and stand behind Leo. I’ve never seen anyone come through the portal before, and my heart’s slamming around the inside of my ribcage.
“No need to worry, Miss Raine. You’re standing in the correct position.”
I tilt my head to Leo. He’s watching the void like he can see things I can’t.
His eye on his dignified profile twitches. “Now,” he says.
Evander pops from the blackness. He skids forward with a little hop and ends up in the middle of the dragon’s eyemosaic. Smoke twirls around his head, and his tanned skin glistens with heat. And it dawns on me why the foyer and the portal are so large.
