My eyes raked down his naked torso and everything inside me stood. For a moment, I lost track of who he was asking about? How did who take what? Was it me? Did he want to take me right here in the kitchen? This was the cleanest my kitchen had ever been. Hell, maybe the cleanest it ever would be.
“He’s not thrilled,” I admitted. “Not thrilled at all. He’s insisting that they’ll come down the day he arrives. I mean, I get it, but I sort of want to scream. I bet no one else’s parents are crowding in on them while they’re hosting someone for the holidays.”
“Er…. If I understand what you explained beforehand and what the envelope said, most of the hosts are alphas.”
“You’re going to choose to be a cave-alpha right now?” I asked, my eyebrows climbing up my forehead. “Right now?”
“What? I wouldn’t want you to meet this guy alone either. Sure, the company vetted him, but people make mistakes. Like for example, I thought Pami had a brain and a heart. I was fucking wrong.”
“Uh….” I said because if I knew where this woman was I’d rip her asunder and put an end to this whole messy thing. I’d heard enough stories from my dad about how tyranny sneaks in and it’s best to eat its whole face early. All its faces. The Raven Hollow Wolves hadn’t always been run by a tyrant and then they were and it lasted so long.
“I… I shouldn’t have yelled at you,” Vallis apologized a second later. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s not that. I mean, shout away. I’m the only one who can hear you and you’re probably frustrated. Not to mention, you haven’t talked to anyone in years. I don’t expect you to fall seamlessly back into the world. Besides, we’re a different society. We’re lucky we speak the same language.”
“Most elves can speak your language. The Fallen Star are no different,” he shook his head. “Seriously, no different. It’s one of the most common languages spoken because of how many of your dragons have gone to war against elven clans. And yes, I am frustrated and want to shout and tear her apart but I can’t take that out on you. I can’t become some angry animal or she wins. I can’t let her win. Broug wouldn’t want her to act like this…”
“Are you wanting to save her?” I asked, my eyebrows knitting together.
“Not exactly. I don’t…. This is going to sound horrible but I think the only way to save her is to send her off to be with her mate,” he said.
“Sounds reasonable to me,” I nodded because it did.
Grief wasn’t an excuse for cruelty but sometimes the only way to return someone to who they were before was to send them off after their true-mate.
Vallis stood up and I swallowed hard. I wanted to sprint across the kitchen and fling myself into his arms. I wanted to kiss him like he was oxygen and I was drowning. I wanted to forget that the world was literally upside down and my shitty acting skills were going to be put to the test over the next few months more than ever before. The Nightshade Bears were a tight-knit community and keeping secrets was hard and it wasn’t like we didn’t all show up at each other’s homes unexpected because it happened so often that it was expected. At least, I wouldn’t have to put on an act at work. That was one of the best perks of working for yourself. You didn’t have to mask any emotions while you were on your own. I could make animal form clothes while bitching up a storm if I wanted to. The yarn and fabrics weren’t telling on me and I had the sneaking suspicion that my sewing machine had the mouth of a sailor by now anyway.
“Mate,” Vallis whispered the word, bringing me back into the moment. “I will figure this out.”
“We will figure this out,” I corrected him. “You obviously need help or you wouldn’t have spent so long knocking.”
He opened his mouth and shut it again. Everything inside me burnt hot and boiled over. I sprinted across the room and leapt up so that Vallis had to catch me. Seeing that he wasn’t solid, it was a risk, but one that was worth it when his big strong arms wrapped around me. Our lips crashed together before my feet found the floor. They were just as solid as his hard dickhad been underneath me. We kissed hard, our bodies crushed together in an embrace fueled by magic and need and something more primal than both. We were alive and together for – now. Life begat life and our tongues danced between our mouths in celebration. For a split second we were normal true-mates. No Pami or invisibility. No Snow Demon or lying to my parents. We were just us and oh my old bears on the mountain was he a good kisser. His tongue swept around mine again and again. His teeth scraped against my lip and I said a silent prayer to my ancestors that it empowered him to remain longer with me but even as I prayed, the flesh against me began to soften, becoming less solid.
“It’s okay. It’s okay,” Vallis said, pulling back from the kiss. “Really. It’s—Back…. As soon… can.”
Without Vallis’s strong arms to hold me up, I fell onto my kitchen floor. I caught myself on my hands and rolled over onto my back.
“I will not cry. I will not cry. I will not cry,”I said over and over to my bear but then I cried anyway because until he came back, I had no way of knowing he was alive. After a few minutes, I pulled myself out of the sobbing mess I was and found my phone. I sent Grandpa a text to see if he had any books on astral projection. Then I spent the rest of the afternoon pouring through them on my kitchen floor. Sure, he probably wouldn’t come back in the exact same spot, but it was the last spot Vallis held me and I liked to imagine that in his captivity he could still feel my presence when I was there.
I decided that while he was locked away sleeping that I would come up with a plan. That would’ve been a lot easier if I could’ve asked Grandpa or Mori for help. Still, needs must andI needed Vallis here with me full time. Screw the stupid vow renewal of people I wasn’t good enough for. Vallis wanted to be here and more than anything I wanted him here with me.
CHAPTER FOUR
Vallis
Fallen Star Territory
The aroma of dirt and rocks filled my head. Everything smelled wet as if it had rained recently. The box was as small as ever and a line of dirt had started sprinkling in through a seam between two boards. The taste of my mate lingered on my lips. I tried pushing against the lid again. It didn’t budge. If anything, my muscles had atrophied more since the last time I tried. My stomach growled. Whatever magic Pami used to keep me alive was waning. Was she doing it on purpose or was her own strength waning?
Broug would hate her now. He’d hate what his death turned her into. That night played out in my head again. There was a ‘pop’ on the web and the smell of something burning. I still didn’t know how I knew but it was Broug. It had to be, right? It wasn’t like I was a social butterfly who had a ton of close connections. My relatives were dead. I’d grown up at the Fallen Star Temple like Broug had. If I had family it was him and Pami. Though, if I were honest, I never liked her much. She walked around with her nose crinkled and her ears back like everything either smelled bad or offended her. You couldn’t get a straight answer out of her either. Ask her about the weather and she’d tell you why it was offensive to ask her that particular question. The only people who ever liked her as far as I could see was Nashen and Broug. Her brother and her true-mate. The two people on the whole world who actually were sort of required to like her.
My stomach growled again and I forced my eyes closed. I needed to sleep. I needed to rest up and get back to Lero. Lero. My poor Lero. I hoped he believed I’d come back. I hoped that somehow he knew I wasn’t dead. I couldn’t do anything for him now. I wasn’t even sure there was an Other World gateway that connected my world to his. Even if I was there, could I really ask him to risk his life to save me? He’d do it in a heartbeat but it wasn’t right. It wasn’t fair.
“Life isn’t right or fair,”my bear whispered into my thoughts.“Anymore than it’s right that half the world puts their inner beast to sleep until they meet their true-mates. They’ve made themselves weak against everything and against the likes of Pami.”
I dozed off, playing outrageous scenarios in my head where Lero showed up clawing his way through the dirt to get me out. Maybe bringing in whatever passed for an army in his territory was the only way I was ever going to survive. Only, then innocent people would die. People who would defend Pami because she was one of us even if she was cruel. Was I really worth all those innocent lives? I was just one guy after all.
I dreamt of a burger. A thick double meat burger with cheese oozing off its sides. I’d quit dreaming about food what I thought must’ve been months ago but I’d eaten at Lero’s house. That must’ve reawakened my body’s longing for real food.
