He took my hand and my bear locked his eyes on the healer. His attention span was sort of amazing. These last two weeks, the simple act of being outdoors was enough to exhilarate him into the shortest attention span known to bearkind.
“Looking good,” Bane said. “You’re right where we’d expect you to be. Now, I know everyone gets excited about ultrasounds but the baby is still quite small. We’ll hear the pulse, though. These new machines pick it up earlier than we used to be able to.”
Lero watched the portable ultrasound machine screen while I watched Bane. My bear sat on his haunches inside his inner sanctum, peering out. I wasn’t sure that he expected the wolf to do something wrong but we hadn’t expected Pami to kill Broug and bury us alive either.
Barry cleared his throat and I let out a long, slow breath. I’d forgotten that finishing the claiming vows with Lero also put me on links where others could hear my thoughts too. Barry was always talking about staying in the moment so that I could train my brain to enjoy things again. Sure, seeing our baby was enjoyable but this whole thing was more distressing than enjoyable. Anyone could run up and do anything and---
Lero squeezed my hand, drawing my thoughts back to him. He pointed at the screen. Our baby was a piece of licorice. So tiny. Yet pulsing with life. Next, Bane pressed his stethoscope against Lero’s stomach. My mate flinched from the cold dragon metal and my bear wanted to swat the wolf. I managed to keep his actions inside his head, but only just. He kept the metal piece in place once he found what he was looking for and then nodded to Barry. My grandfather-in-law took the earpieces off of Bane and put them on me. I froze for a microsecond then my baby’s heart rate filled my head. Their little heartbeat trotted along, calming something deep inside me. Our baby was tucked away safe inside Lero’s body. Even when the time came for them to enter our world, Pami was gone. Sharon Claudis was gone too – just in case she’d have gotten any ideas about sacrificing Mori and Preston’s other family members.
Still holding onto Lero’s hand, I squatted down and rested my head against the side of the soft part of the gurney. I took long, slow breaths, memorizing what the heartbeat sounded like as it pulsed through my cells. It was as if my two lives finally collided. I had been with Lero and in the coffin. Our cub was conceived while I was in both places and now I was only in one. I was here with Lero – body and whatever piece of me made up the astral projecting me. All one. All together. All here listening to the baby’s heartbeat.
No one hurried me along. No one rushed me to give back the earpieces or to stand up and stop acting like a crazy person. No one’s scent said I was crazy either. Maybe I was. Maybe I wasn’t. Maybe hearing my baby’s heartbeat for the first time would’ve warped my brain even if I hadn’t spent the last few years buried alive.
Eventually, I stood up and stretched and as I stretched fur sprouted between my toes and my fingers. I could’ve stopped him but he’d kept his cool so far around Bane and getting the one last thing off the checklist before going home seemed like a good idea.
As I shifted, Lero sat up on the gurney. When I came to again, I was a bear resting my head on his lap. Lero’s soft, tender fingers played through my fur and over my skin. I lost myself to his gentle touches until I remembered Bane and Barry were there. That was the problem with the hospital. Even when I started feeling ‘good enough’ someone was always around to remind me I wasn’t allowed to have any fun.
My bear stepped back and inside the inner sanctum I braced for impact. He reared up on his hindlegs and roared at Bane as if he were the one who buried us alive. Bane blinked, looking unimpressed, because of course the old wolf had lived through worse. My bear walked backward on his hindlegs as if showing off would get us out of the hospital sooner. Then he went down on all fours and charged. He wasn’t aiming for anyone. Instead, he ran a circle around the hospital. At first, he ran because he needed to prove to everyone that he could. Then he kept running after completing his first lap because it felt good. Finally, he was running because he’d been denied the simple pleasure for so long. Eventually, he ran out of steam. It didn’t take as much as it normally would but he’d done more than I thought he’d be able too with how much my arms ached.
“I could give you a massage,”Lero suggested and I contemplated whether he was offering a care task or something more. Gods above me, how I wanted it to be something more.
“Eh, that’s a good sign,” Bane said to Barry as they walked back inside leaving Lero and me alone outside.
For a second, I feared that if Lero shifted something would happen to the baby. Only, shifting happened all the time with pregnant shifters, especially in the first trimester. There was once an old folk tale about not shifting during pregnancy but that was likely just another way to control omegas. By the time I’d talked myself through my worries, Lero was in his bear form. He was a large bear and fluffy. He nuzzled me before pressing his forehead against mine. Then he led the way down a path I hadn’t noticed before to a different little clearing inside a bunch of closely growing ‘young’ trees. The trees were probably twenty or thirty years old, but when the rest of the place was surrounded by giant redwoods everything looked young. Everything felt young. Even me.
Lero and I curled up together. I dozed off quicker than I liked. I wanted to spend time with him. I wanted to not fade away from him again and again. That happened enough already.
“Sleep and fading is two different things. Rest, alpha. I’ll still be here when you wake up,”Lero whispered into my thoughts.
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
Lero
Nightshade Bear Territory
We went home the day after Vallis roared at Bane. The walk from the Other World gateway took less time than I expected but that might’ve been because I was with Vallis and my thoughts were already on our cub. It would soon be time to den down. Thankfully, I could do my job from home. I might not leave it for months. Except if Vallis wanted to. He’d spent enough time being locked up for a lifetime. We arrived home after dark and just in time to crash into bed. I curled up with Vallis, still thankful that he’d be there without a doubt when I woke up in the morning.
I woke up before Vallis the next morning and made breakfast. Normally, after a hard week, I’d go to Grandpa’s for breakfast but everyone was getting ready for Mori’s going away party. Under different circumstances, I’d be bummed out that no one was talking about our mating feast. Only, Vallis needed time to recover and I wasn’t sure being surrounded by everyone and being the center of attention was the way to go about it. I wasn’t even sure he’d want to go to Mori’s going away party. Though, I’d lost count of how many going away parties Grandpa had thrown for Uncle Mori.
“Too many to count,”my bear sounded off inside my thoughts.“Way too many to count.”
“Morning,” Vallis yawned from the kitchen doorway as I set the food out on the table. He wore green and black plaid pajama bottoms and nothing else. His bed head stuck up in every direction and his eyes were about half open. I’d already made coffee and tea because he’d gotten used to the hospital serving both. “Smells good.”
“I’d hope so. I’ve been cooking for an hour,” I laughed.
“Wasn’t talking about that. Talking about you,” he grinned.
Bane hadn’t mentioned whether or not Vallis was cleared for sex and somehow, I’d found myself too shy to ask. I’d check his discharge papers later.
“Gotta eat first,” I said, buying time.
He crossed the room, his steps surer than I’d ever seen, and pulled me close. We shared a long, slow kiss that stirred up everything inside of me. His tongue slipped into my mouth, warm and alive, and against my better judgment I wrapped my arms around his shoulders.
“Did they clear you?” I pulled away from the kiss to ask.
“Bee told me to take it easy and rest if I got tired.”
“He said that about romping?” I asked, arching a brow.
