I have to agree.
NINETEEN
Grey
“This place is huge.”
It is, and it feels like coming home. We arrived a little late. Traffic was insane to the arena, which I figured it might be. Tickets were sold out. It’s been a long time since we’ve brought the cup home. Luckily, we got to park with the rest of the team, or we’d be shit out of luck. Felix helps me up the stairs to our box, and I take them slowly, looking out over the screaming crowd.
Playoff games are insane.
The Otters lost their first game against the Vipers in nearly eight years. It was an upset, but they went on to win one more on the Vipers’ turf. If they can pull this off tonight, they’ll be champions.
I find the box where other Otters family members are sitting and nod with a smile to a few familiar faces. We take a seat with a clear view of the stadium. “It’s so loud.” But he smiles. “Is it always this crazy?”
I watch fans wave their towels. “Playoff games are usuallylike this, but the final round is crazy.” I wanted to win it one more time before I retired, which I hadn’t planned on doing for a while.
I ignore the path my brain wants to take and instead take this in. It all seems so small from up here.
“How’s your knee?”
“I’m okay.” I smile, slipping my fingers into his, surprise reaching his brows. We haven’t defined anything, but right now I don’t think we need to. I just enjoy his company, and I think he enjoys mine.
Felix looks down at our fingers. “Are you worried someone will see?”
I can feel some eyes on me here in this box, not that I care. They’re just various family members of the players, and with Andre and Oli’s announcement late last year, I feel more at ease.
What do I care? I’m not on the ice anymore. I have nothing to answer for or explain in the media. More than that, none of us should have to. Do straight players have to explain their relationship statuses with their wives or girlfriends? No.
Coach told me they’re planning to make the announcement about my retirement after the season is over, but I plan on telling my guys tonight.
I squeeze Felix’s fingers. “Since Oli and Andre were outed, there’s been a few changes in how queer players are treated.” Small changes, but it’s something. “Any news outlet caught reporting on a player’s sexuality before that player comes out will be sued to hell and back and terminated.” Will it stop fans from speculating? No, but it will keep the sports news focused on stats and games instead of gossip.
“I’m glad.” His fingers tighten in mine.
“I don’t care who knows.” Felix smiles at me, and I don’t care what I have to do to keep that smile on his face.Whatever it is, it’s done. “Since Oli and Andre came out, there have been a few other players who’ve also come out.”
“Really?”
I nod. “Knox Morrow—the captain for the Vipers, number thirty-six down there—he’s bisexual. Then there’s Theo Zepper of the Vermont Miners?—”
“Vermont Miners?”
I laugh. “Yeah, they’re kind of the laughingstock of the league. I don’t think they’ve won a cup in the last seven decades. Getting drafted to them is a career death sentence of bad luck.”
“Wow.” He laughs.
“Anyway, he’s one of the defensemen... and their captain, he came out as pan. Carrie Chambers, he’s a winger for Detroit, came out as asexual.” I’m not sure why, but he retired right after. I just hope it wasn’t related. Not all teams have been as welcoming as mine has.”
The lights go out and the arena erupts as my guys skate out onto the ice. I almost stand up to cheer then remember my knee. Who knew I’d get to a point where steep stairs were an issue. Even as I think it, I know that months ago this would have been impossible.
I look at Felix, his eyes bright on the game. I don’t know if he’s into it, but it looks like it. More and more when we watch a game, he gets just as animated as I am. Something comes over me. I don’t know what it is. I just know how it feels, and it feels like this warm ball of light warming my chest from the inside out.
Felix is watching them play, but my eyes are on him. He looks at me, his brows scrunching. “What?” He smiles.
I lean in to his ear. “Thank you.”
He pulls back, confused. “For what?”
