Felix smiles, all bright eyes on me. I may have healed in the last five months, but so has he. Everything about him is more relaxed, more confident. His skin looks clearer, eyes definitely brighter. He’s gained weight. It’s almost like we’re healing together. He squeezes my hand before letting go. “Come on. We have a game to watch.”
“Go,go, go! Come on, Colton, come on! Fuck.” Gloves are thrown, Knox and Colton pummeling the shit out of each other for the third time tonight.
“They’ve been fighting nonstop,” Felix comments. Earlier, Layton Darci from the Vipers ran into Andre and I thought my best friend was going to get ejected. It took four people and a ref to peel Oli off him. My friend served a five-minute major. Fans love it, but it’s brutal.
“Playoff hockey is like this. These two have some personal history I don’t know about.” Knox and Colton’s feud has always been as infamous as Oli and Andre’s. I have no clue what it’s about. “I’m going to lose my mind. Is this how itfeels to be a fan?” I sit down. “This is terrible.” The Otters are down by two. “They only have nine minutes left.”
“Which I now know is plenty of hockey but also no time left in hockey.”
“Good boy.” I beam. “I just know Coach is ripping into them right now. I can picture the veins popping in his neck.” Fuck, I even miss that part of it.
“Is he mean?”
“Yes,” I laugh. “He’s also the kindest guy you’ll ever meet. A hell of a coach.” I’m on edge. I need a drink, but with all the medicine I’ve pumped inside my body today, I don’t trust it. This shit is stressful.
As they set up for a power play again, I look at Felix. He’s put the journal away. He was taking notes as I explained the plays and rules. I may also have texted Alyssa about bullet journals and asked her to pick up anything she thinks he might need for it.
“Can I ask something?” I nod, moving closer to him.
“When’s the last time you hooked up with someone?” The question catches me off guard.
“Um.” I think back to the night with those two women who met Oli, Atlas, and me at a bar. I didn’t want to go out as it was, and once they joined us, I was ready to go home. Then I realized one of them was like me. We went to a queer club after I told her I was gay, and I hooked up with a man in the bathroom. It’d been fine, but it was missing the heat I love that comes with real intimacy. I crave it almost as much as the sex itself. “Back in November.”
Felix nods, looking down. “And you’re not seeing anyone now?”
I run my tongue along the bottom of my lip, picturing the other morning. Him in my arms. My eyes flick to the clock. Yes! “Holy shit, they scored. One more, boys!” I sit up, butFelix’s hand presses to my chest, pushing me back. Then he lifts up onto my lap. My breath quickens. “Felix?”
“Did you like it? When I touched you?” Where is this coming from? Honestly, I don’t even care. I want more of it. I like him bossy. Assertive.
My brow arches. “What do you think?”
“I didn’t really touch you.”
“A testament to your skill.”
He laughs. “I have no skills.
“You’ve had me coming in my boxers twice now. I feel like a virgin. Come here.” He leans down and I take his lips. Mint tingles on my tongue. It fucks with my head. “There’s only one problem.”
“What’s that?” he whispers against my lips.
“I don’t know what you taste like.”
He pulls back, uncertainty in his eyes. “What do you mean?”
My fingers dip along the edge of his boxers. “What I mean is, I’d like you to get on your knees and let me suck you off.” My eyes lift to his. “I want to taste you.”
I see the war behind his eyes, and I give him time to think. He doesn’t need to if he doesn’t want to. My greedy fingers play with the sensitive skin under the band of his boxers.
“You sure? I can do it instead.”
“Oh, I’m sure. I’m very sure.”
His fingers dive into his hair. “I mean, you don’t have to. I don’t mind. The other morning—” With my fingers bunched into his boxers, I gently tug them down, his pubes peeking out from the fabric. Slowly I press kisses across his stomach, and his tongue pokes the seam of his lips. His fingers tighten on my biceps as he melts into me.
I grab his shirt, pulling him down to me. “Listen to me,” Iwhisper then kiss his face. “If you don’t want to, that’s okay. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do.” I cup his face, tracing my thumb along his jaw. “But if you don’t want to because you think you’re putting me out or that I don’t want to, you are so fucking wrong.”
My hands slide up his hips, up his stomach, then down again. I love his body, love how healthy he looks. He’s been on my ass about missing meals, but I’ve done the same to him.
