Felix stirs, hugging me tighter, and I can’t help the smile that spreads wide on my face. Watching him with Lianna yesterday was funny. She’s so feisty and has a thirst for gossip just like her mother. Watching him sit in the tiny chair in her room was too funny. That was until the little brat outed me to him. Do I really look at him like that?
He shifts again, his head falling into the crook of my arm before his eyes blink open. “Oh... I... Sorry.” He starts to move but I tighten my hold on him, letting him know it’s okay. More than okay. “I fell asleep.”
I smile. “It’s okay. We both did.” He blinks up at me. I like the easy way this feels. I know a lot of people love the rush of being with someone new, they like fireworks and explosions, but that’s not me. I love to feel comfortable and warm. And damn, that’s how he makes me feel. He’s just so easy to be around and talk to. I hate awkwardness and stilted conversation. I want someone I can easily get along with. Someone who’s not with me for my status or the money I make. Someone who’s satisfied with a quiet life.
I think he’s going to move, but then I smile when he stays like this, looking up at me.
“How’s your knee feeling?” He looks down, his eyes widening before looking back up. Confused, I look down and see what he does. Shit.
Heat brushes my cheeks. “Uh, sorry.”
“It’s um, fine. It’s nothing.”
“Damn. I wouldn’t call it nothing.” I laugh as he smiles, my dick uncomfortably straining the front of my boxers. Not something I preplanned for when I stripped down last night. “My knee feels a bit better. Thank you.”
Felix blinks down again. “I um. I can get you another uh, ice pack.” He looks up and his face pinkens. This close, I cansmell his shampoo, and his red lips look so inviting only inches away from mine. I think of that kiss—it was small, barely there—a small taste of the fireworks this man could give me. I want to lean in, but I’m afraid to push him.
“Felix.”
His eyes flick from my eyes to my mouth.
“What?”
“What are you thinking about?” He swallows, but he needs to tell me. If this is going to work, whatever this is, it needs to be on his terms. “You can talk to me.”
“I was thinking about my redo birthday.”
“Uh-huh.” I smooth a strand of dark hair behind his ear. “And what about it?”
“I was thinking I wanted to kiss you again.” My arms tighten a bit around him, my hand smoothing down his lower back, not daring to go any further.
“You want another kiss?” I tilt his jaw to meet my eyes with his. “Then give me a kiss.” He blinks at me. “Let me make something clear. I consent to anything you want to do or try. I’m telling you now, though, you need to make the moves.” I wait for my words to sink in. “You’re in control. Say it.”
“I’m... in control.” He blinks. “Is it because of what I went through?”
“Yes and no.” I think about how much I want to share with him. It’s a lot right now, it’s just... I have preferences. I don’t want to scare him away. Some men don’t like this. Some look at me and my size and make assumptions about the role I like to play in the bedroom. “Can I tell you something intimate? About myself.”
“Please.” His eyes dip again to my lips.
His hand lies on the center of my chest. “When I’m with someone, I like to submit. I like to be controlled. I like the person I’m with to call the shots and control my pleasure.”
His face scrunches adorably. “What does that mean?”
I swallow, afraid I might scare him away. “I like demands, to be teased, and... edged.”
“Edged?” His brows scrunch.
A nearly thirty-year-old man not knowing might be shocking, but I have to assume Felix has lived a very sheltered life. I’m afraid this will be too much. I’m sure his ex has controlled every aspect of his life. I’ll welcome and guide him into my world and let him explore whatever he desires thoroughly. Gently, of course. At his pace.
“It’s like teasing and playing until you’re about to finish, then stopping. Then starting again. Stopping. Over and over until you’re so crazy with the need to let go.” There are other things I like. I like a vocal partner. I like a man who takes what he wants from me. Consensual submission. It’s been a while since I’ve experienced that. It’s been a while since I’ve trusted someone like that.
His eyes drop to my lips. “And that feels good?”
“It feels so good.” I lightly touch his face. “I mean it. If you don’t want to do something, you don’t have to. I’ll never get angry with you. I’ll never be upset if you’re not up for something. You call the shots. Just tell me what you want.”
He thinks for a moment. “Can we start with a kiss?”
“You have my permission to try anything you want to.” I smile, looking down at my knee. “Within reason.”
