But they don’t. For the first time in my life, I feel peace.
For the first time in my life, I think I’m actually happy.
NINE
Grey
Felix walks into the kitchen wearing one of the baby-blue sweaters I bought him and a pair of dark jeans that fit better than I should notice. Unfortunately for me, it’s all I’ve been noticing lately.
It’s been about a month since Felix came here, and I have to admit, it’s not the worst thing in the world. I guess.
Some may even say I enjoy his company. Maybe. I will neither confirm nor deny, even if my chest gets all weird and jittery when he walks into my kitchen. Or when he wakes me up in the morning with a soft touch. Or at night when it’s just us by the fire.
When Alyssa came by to see if we’d killed each other—or rather, if I’d killed him—she offered to cut his hair when he mentioned how long it was getting. I liked it before, but this shorter cut makes his face stand out in a way I wish I could ignore.
Is it still Stockholm syndrome if it’s your own home you’re trapped in? I guess Felix isn’t really my captor,although being tied up for his use... well now, that is a dangerous path to go down. “Those fit nicely. They look good.” Okay, now stop looking. I take a sip and study my coffee mug.
Something about him seems different. He looks good. Brighter. Healthier.
“Really? Thank you.”
I have another present to give him, but I’ll wait until a bit later. I’ve always been an awkward guy. I don’t people well, and I’m afraid to overwhelm him. My ex used to call me overbearing, told me I smothered him. I couldn’t help myself, though. I was never home, and when I was, I just wanted to spend time with him.
I love simple shit like movie nights, cooking dinner together. Maybe it’s my busy schedule. I’m always off to one place or another—games, training, practice, interviews, media. On repeat. I enjoy going to bars with my best friends, but I crave the simplicity of being at home with the person I’m with. When I do go out, it’s usually to hike or something that only requires me and fresh air.
In the last month I’ve grown used to Felix’s company. The more time we spend together—or should I say the more time I spend with him snapping at me to take it easy—the more I’m getting used to it. The defiance in his bright brown eyes amuses me more than he wants it to. I can’t help it. He’s like a puppy with a sharp bark. More of his personality has shown through too. He said he was boring, but I know that’s not the case.
Felix is witty and sweet. Since I asked him about those bruises, he avoids any conversation leading down that path. And that’s okay. I’m just hoping that maybe soon he’ll feel comfortable enough to tell me.
“What’s the matter?” He eyes my knee skeptically. I’m in a ton of pain right now. I had PT yesterday and I still haven’tbounced back from it. I keep waiting for it to feel better. I’m trying, though. I want to get better. More than that, I want to get dressed in the morning without getting winded or exhausted from the work it takes to put my damn legs in my pants.
Today will be fun. I’ve already taken my medicine, and I just want this day to be special. I have no clue why. I feel like I have something to prove, but I’ve yet to figure out what the hell that might be. “I packed lunch for us.” I attempted to anyway. It took a lot of my energy. “I uh, I thought we could go down to the pier and have lunch. Maybe do some fishing. There’s a nice little spot on the other side of town. Unless you want to do something else?”
Felix eyes my tacklebox on the table. I think he’s going to decline, then a small smile hits his lips. “Will I have to touch a worm?”
I laugh. “Only if you want to.”
“In town?” That’s another thing I’ve noticed. Since coming here, he never wants to leave the house. I wanted him to take me to appointments, and yeah, I know it’s technically his job, but I felt his fear whenever it was time to go anywhere. I don’t mind paying a driver to take me places. I don’t want him to be uncomfortable.
Still, I want to push a little today. “Yeah. That okay?”
Felix looks around the room before nodding. “I guess.”
“I mean, if you don’t want to... it’s your redo birthday.” I think a nice day of fishing will be great. And I can sit. It’s going to be nearly sixty-five today and sunny. My oven dings. “Great timing.”
“What?”
I limp over to the oven, grabbing my oven mitt.
“What is that?” he asks.
I pull the cake out of the oven. I sort of wish Lianna were here. She loves frosting. She ends up eating a third of the canbefore it can even make it onto the cake. Then Alyssa yells at me about too much sugar, as if she never used to smuggle cookies like a damn drug mule when she was a kid.
“I made you a cake.”
“You made a cake?” His brow arches as his eyes scrutinize my baking skills.
“Hey now, I am an uncle. I’m not just a pretty face who can fill out a purple shell bra. I have many talents. I know my way around a box of cake mix.”
