“It’s fine.” I know my sister wouldn’t allow some random weirdo near me, no matter how pissed she is. “It’s fine. I um—” My doorbell rings again. Literally, who the fuck? I grab my phone, groaning as I see two people I don’t have the patience for right now.
They ring it again. “Do you want me to get it?” If I entertain this for a little while, maybe it’ll get Alyssa off my back. I don’t need a babysitter. “Mr. Tremblay?”
My eyes shift to his. “Don’t ever call me that again. It’s Grey.”
He steps back, hands fidgeting at his sides. “R-right um, would you like me to get the door?”
“I don’t give a shit.” I attempt to stand, using my hand to help lift me up, and he rushes over to help. “Get the fuck away from me.” He shrinks back, nodding, as the doorbell rings again.
“I’m going to get that.” He rushes out of the kitchen. I hear noises at the door and nearly roll my eyes as I take my coffee and get up, walking slowly to the sink. I lean against the counter, looking at the distance between me and the chair. Hurts when I sit, it hurts when I stand. Voices grow louder. I hear Felix say, “Can I make you anything?”
“They aren’t staying.” I lean against the counter, trying as casually as I can to show them how fine I am. Pain? What pain?
“Grey—”
“Let’s get this over with, huh? How are you doing? Shitty. How are both of you two doing? Great. Fantastic. I’ll see you guys next time.”
“Grey, hold on?—”
“If you were here to visit, that would be one thing, but I don’t need you guys checking to make sure I’m still fucking breathing.” I’m being an asshole, I know it. I just can’t stop. No one listens to me. They think everything will be just fine, but while their lives move on, I’m stuck here.
Shame hits me when I see Oli flinch, and Felix takes a step toward the door looking as if he wants to jump out of his skin. The sympathy hardens in Oli’s eyes. “Atlas told us you were being a dick, and fine, be a dick to us. But don’t you dare do that to him. Atlas doesn’t deserve that.”
I bite the inside of my cheek, then swallow thickly. “Great. Is that all?”
The challenge in Oli’s eyes grows like an oncoming storm. This is the problem with Oli; he sees a problem and wants to solve it. There is no solving this. My eyes flick briefly to Andre, who has concern in his hazel eyes watching Oli. I know he’s upset, but I also know he has the right arms to fall into after he leaves here. Andre touches his shoulder gently. “Oli, we need to give him space.”
And he’s also brilliant. “Listen to Andre. Enough. I just want to be left alone.”
Oli stares for a stubborn minute. “Don’t shut us out! If this were the other way?—”
“But it’s not!” I yell. “It’s not, Oli. It’s not the other way around! You two have each other. You’re still playing! You don’t know what I’m going through!”
Oli reaches for me, and I’m shocked when it’s not to punch me. “Listen to me, you stubborn fuck!” He leans into me. “I’m not going to just leave you alone to go through this. Pride night is tonight. Then we have a two-week break forthe World Face Off. You better fucking believe I’ll be here bugging your ass whether you want it or not.” He grabs the back of my neck. “You are my brother and my best friend. You will not go through this alone.”
Don’t cry in front of this stubborn asshole. Don’t you dare! I knock his hand away from me. “Fuck off, Oli.”
“No, I won’t just fuck off, because if this were the other way around, I know you wouldn’t leave me or Atlas. You can be a dick to me, but don’t you dare take it out on him. He needs you!”
Felix moves further away from my seething friend. It looks like he’s trying to become one with the kitchen wall. “Um, I uh... I think Mr. Tremblay?—”
“It’s Grey!” Oli snaps, and it almost warms me, but then I look at Felix’s scared face. Something hits me in the gut. A spark of anger flickers inside me.
“Right, sorry. Grey would like to be alone now. Okay?” Felix’s nervous eyes dart between Oli and Andre.
Oli glares right through me before conceding. He’s nearly out of the kitchen before he turns around. “We’re going to be here again this weekend.” He looks back at Felix. I have the urge to step between them. “Make sure he doesn’t do anything stupid.”
Finally, they’re gone, my front door rattling with their exit, and Felix looks awkwardly around, meeting my eyes briefly before looking away again. “Um, is there anything I can get you?”
“No.”
Felix walks beside me as I try and make it into my room. Would it be possible to stay there for the rest of my life? Let’s see. I have a bathroom there, and maybe I could have food delivered right to my damn bedroom! Fuck, I’m acting like a brat. I’m acting like Atlas.
Oh shit. That is a sobering thought.
“You’re limping a lot. That looks really bad. I can help you. Really. If you let me grab some?—”
I spin, a little too sharply, backing him up into my wall. He’s inches from me. I can feel the nerves radiating from his pale skin. “I said no!” My gaze flicks over his face. His lip shakes, and something smacks me. Shame? I don’t know. It feels gross. I take a step back, taking a breath.
